Why it been so long 3 years I haven't never stop love him?

I’ve been single on and off for about 3 years now the whole time I think about him. I am still in love with my first boyfriend we were together for 1 year and half and my parent are still close with his parent so I have know what been going on in his life the whole time we have been broken up. I broke it off with him when I was 15 turn 16 years old I no every young but in love. The reason why I broke it of was because parent want him to stay home and study instead of seeing me and it was shock to me because we spent every wait minute with him. He was my first kiss, my first hug was virgin when I meet him lost my virginity to him. When we broke up I was very angry and young and stupid made friend of mine pretend we were going to engaged. Three month late change my status he started talking to be say will take you to ashmore steak and seafood our favourite place on sunday. Then he sent me a text my life is up side down inside out I cant pull you I my mess. That was the last text 5 months later I found he got this chick pregnant she was seeing to guys at the same time… Anyway it is his baby… I was with this guy now for six months was still miss my ex. So I text him we meet up had he payed lunch together went to wet and wild. Then he cooked me prawn and rice my favourite. Then I stop texting him for about 3 weeks because I fault horrible to my boyfriend I was seeing. Then I broke it of with my boyfriend text him When I seen you my heart messes a beat I love you and miss you so much it wouldn’t bother me if you have son I will love him like my own I promise you. Just tell me if there is change we can get back together I just need to know. He text back You text me now after not text me for 3 weeks. You very sexy but we are to different people. We can hook up. I think he has one of those perfect picture of what family are meant to be and wants that with that girl. I dont know if I just lust him or love him but I think it is best I just stay single since I have been in and out of relationship straight after we broke up and cant move on… Need some advice to help me move on.