My fiance or true love

I am 24 years old and before I met my fiance I was in love with a man who already had a relationship…I pursued him for 4 months until he finally told me to stop hurting myself. So in my hurt I decided it was time to open up to someone else…I took my fiance home the first time we met and we had sex. Then a few days later he told me he had a g/f he was with for a year that he didnt want to be with anymore. So he broke up with her and after a month of being together he moved in with me. (first man I have lived with) Then on our 3 month anniversary he asked me to marry him…with my hinting. It wasn’t long after the engagement that I started to realize that the feelings I had for the man before him were still there.

I did never and still never had an affair on my fiance. And I did tell my fiance that I was in love with another man (which he does know) and he has known about it ever since. Me and the man I loved before my fiance have built a pretty strong friendship over the past 6 months…sometimes hanging out until 5-6am talking about our situations and whats happening in life.

The way that he makes me feel when he holds me is nothing that my fiance can give me any longer…and I cannot help to think that this is lust…also I am not sure what the man’s intentions are…he has told me he has love for me. But I do believe its just because he knows its what I want to hear…he is still with the woman he was with before and it seems as though I am the one pursuing it all.

I do LOVE my fiance VERY VERY Much and I can see us having a very satisfying life together. But then I feel like I cannot deny the feelings I have in my heart…I am so confused between the mind and the heart and its true, its like a knot that can never be untwined :(

Both men are 20 years older than me…which is also another part of things that makes it difficult…my fiance is so motivated and knows what he wants in life and is on a very good path as where the other man is so lost, doesn’t work and seems be caught up in a bunch of bull shit because of his cowardly feelings…which in the security department I know my fiance would be better…but I don’t want to make my decision based on what can be or what we can have together…because I am not sure that is love…PLEASE HELP!! I do not know what to do :(

Should I stay with my fiance because I can see our lives working together years down the road…or should I take the risk to be with the one I love even though I cannot see it going past a few years