I need some advice on my love life.

I am a 20 year old women and my boyfriend is 31 .. We have known each other since July so thats about 6 months now and started dating in oct . In the beginning when we first met I was still kind of trying to fix my relationship with my ex that ended a year and a half ago but at the same time trying to move on and my boyfriend now knew that. He also got out of a six year long relationship a year ago. I didn’t have sex with him until sept so I made him wait 2 months for it. We have been together every single day since we started opening up to each other. I haven’t seen him talking to any girls unless they were his coworkers . And this one time he was texting some girl jessica before he went to his cousins wedding and i asked him about her and he said it was it one of his cousins friend and that they were talking about me but he wouldnt open the messages in front of me. Before those Jessica text i have looked thru his phone and found nothing that I would cause me to loose trust for him. He also trusts me and we hardly ever fight and he never accuses me of cheating on him but when we do have that conversation he always says he’s afraid that I will cheat on him. He did tell me yesterday that he’s been thinking about the future and also has told me he doesnt want me to string him along becus he wants to be in it for the long run. We are very happy together but the only thing that i am a little worried about is that he does go to the gym and is very well built and cares a lot about his looks. And ever since i seen that jessica girl texting him i have been very suspicious that he might really be doing something behind my back. In the beginning when we first started dating we had sex everyday and now 3 months later well have sex sometimes atleast 4 times a week and sometimes when I try to have sex he doesn’t want it becus he’s too “tired” at night or has to leave for work at 730 so only has an hr of sleep left. I don’t know what to think . Somebody help me out ):

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Answer #1

Well everything you describe gives no solid evidence at all that he is cheating. Everything you mentioned could be the cause of other things, maybe work is more stressful, maybe the girl is a good friend, I know you said he doesn’t really talk to girls but people do make new friends. My advice is to trust until he gives you reason not to. If he were to display other signs of cheating or if caught in the act, then of course but given the stuff you mentioned, it’s jot enogh to accuse someone of cheating. No one here, of course would know if he really were or not, but it doesn’t seem like he’s done anything wrong, yet. Could this suspicion come from your own insecurity? Why did you feel the need to go through his phone before? Could you be the one putting these thoughts in your own head?

Answer #2

I looked thru his phone becus my ex cheated on me several times and I’ve been around so many guys that cheat on there girlfriends. It’s so hard to trust guys now a days. I know that’s no excuse to accuse somebody else for other people’s actions . And yes it could be, I may just be over thinking . Thanks for your advice !

Answer #3

There there well I am a guy and I would tell you one thing - you are just being insecure !!

I agree that many guys do that but that doesnt mean that every guy out there to cheat else the society we see today would not have founded at all !!

You should not have gotten into a relationship if you had suffered so much. There is another thing, stop measuring somebody’s involvement in a relatioship.

Give your relationship some time, else you will freak this guy who might (from your explanation) wanna go for longer relationship!! As Janice said it may be due to hectic schedule or may be he is afraid that you might shy away from him !!

So just give him some time and enjoy life - cook some food for him, plan put an evening together, go on a small picnic, get naughty with him!!

I am pretty sure you will see change in him !! Then do give us some good news !!

Answer #4

I know, I am very insecure . I don’t ever say anything to him about this becus I have a feeling he isn’t doing anything wrong. He gives me enough reason to believe he isn’t. I just can’t forget about what has happened in the past and how many guys I know that are that way. My dad as well is one of those guys. Thanks so much for all your help !

Answer #5

Ok I get it, I know its tough to let go of things that left scars in ur life but thats what life is all about. The moment you stop you get left behind, time will heal everything. If you want to be cautious, be that but dont rob yourself and him of this happiness .

Answer #6

as I said earlier give it some time, if he still is not worthy of trust then you can move on but till that time you gotta give him chance, he has not done anything that makes you he is cheating on you, so why destroy your own happiness coz of your past !!

Answer #7

I know your are so right.. Will do (: I will keep this in mine

Answer #8

ONE THING!!! not all guys are the same. there are some that look at other woman but never cheats…then there some men that never look at woman in front of their lovers but they are the players. your man told you it was jessica, so he was honest. about the sex, personally speaking sex is a grueling workout for men. the age difference should be taken into consideration for the need of sex. You are really young, 20 to 20something are the crazy days. he is way past that…way more mature and maybe taking life seriously. i think that may be a reason for the lack of sex. Try something, when he comes from work make some plans…dont overdo it. buy some sexy lingerie. that might hit the spot.

Answer #9

Thank you for all your advice. It made me feel so much better !

Answer #10

Okayy thank you (: ! You guys are all great!

Answer #11

Okayy thank you (: ! You guys are all great!

Answer #12

Okayy thank you (: ! You guys are all great!

Answer #13

i certainly understand ur position because the girl i am dating also had bad ex’s. I on the other hand am really loyal to her…ok i have lied to her a couple of time but i never cheated her..those lies were just silly lies to not get her angry of my actions. Trust is a real big issue. I am facing the wrath of that especially mine is long distance so yea i am getting jack hammered. Please my advice is enjoy it as you are next to each other…it is really easy to make problems but the best feeling is lying down next to ur man in the night knowing he is there and you have someone..there is certainty..i am sure he loves you to..my advice..it gets really messed up when uncertainty kicks in..i don’t like uncertainty a bit and i am sure no one will

Answer #14

Wow this post really made me feel so much better ! Thanks . I have been trying really hard not to bring the past up becus it’s not fair to him. Thank you so much !

Answer #15

its good to see that we have a common understanding !!

I need some advice on my love life.

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