What do you guys think of my poems?

this one is called hurting days go by and still I try to hide the pain I feel inside I hate to see you pass me by sky is black as I stand around thinking of you all night long.

and this one is called dream world a nightmare is were we stand a thing we cant resist we think but cannot see the angel of death comes falling down hell is were we stand fake is were we are alone in the world alone in the world no one around cannot see what is real although is all fake let me know what you think and please be honest.

thanks guys!!:)

Answer #1

oh yeah and this is a poem I wrote when I was in 5th grade I crack up when ever I think about it!:) this one I called sally sally has a big nose it rolls down to her toes she is so skinny and tinnie she looks like ivans winnie she triie to get freaky like if she knows how to dance when she battles mayra she dont even have a chance shes a fken loner she could only make donkey kong pop a boner shes so ugly the last time she fked there was a bag around her head the guy that fked her drew a happy face instead she liked her cousin and maiden too she couldnt get neaither of them so she fked a shoe. I think its so funny I still cant believe I wrote this …lol:)

Answer #2

your poems are good but a little more practise will get you a bonus point in terms of knowing how to write them. keep trying, their not bad

Answer #3

o and using bad language in poems really ruins it so try to avoid that.

Answer #4

the first poem is pretty good.

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