What do you think of this poem I wrote?

Purging my sanity, stepping closer to my fate Arousing dark thoughts with each step I take Your silhouette shining brightly over the lights of life Luring me closer, electrifying me inside

For all that’s left to give, my heart, my soul, on this very night My perpetual love, seeping into your veins And with all dismay, the night slowly creeping to its end I leave you with my heart, hold it close and don’t let go For I, my dear, truly am in love with you

Answer #1

its amazing:) good job!:)

Answer #2

Thanks, kinda tricky to get the words to fit :(

Answer #3

It’s really good Miggy Poo :) The last two sentences are a bit repetitive….I think if you replaced “love” in “I leave you with my love” with “heart”, it may make the “truly am in love with you” part a bit more powerful. Just a thought :) Beyond that, I’m glad you feel that way, assuming it is based somewhat from truth. And to that special girl who is likely reading this now, I do hope she holds that love well.

Answer #4

its really sweet :)

Answer #5

oh my god is beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer #6

Awww thanks Heaven, I got into panic mode when I couldn’t find any words… :(

Answer #7

Thanks! :)

Answer #8

I dunno about beautiful, could be a bit better but thank you! :3

Answer #9

You did very well sweety. You know I’m the grammar Nazi, so if I say it’s good…well gee! Haha. The life and life in the first stanza may need a tiny tweak too, like “electrifying me inside” or “over the lights around” “over the lights of now” “over the lights herein”….etc.

Answer #10

I miss the old editing button for this reason, I’d just let you have at it but you can’t do that lol. :S Thanks, I’ll take electrifying me inside’’ to keep the effect :)

Answer #11

I could edit the post, but no comments after. I’d look like a dummy for the suggestions because they wouldn’t exist anymore…haha

Answer #12

Ah well that makes a lot of sense :3 thanks so much Heaven, just like I was looking for! :)

Answer #13

Ha, I may be a bit picky at times, so sorry about that. Really, just trying to help if possible. You don’t need it much, if at all :)

Answer #14

It’s still very appreciated :)

Answer #15

OMG THAT IS AMAZING <3 (when ever I have to write a poem for class i’m funmailing you…lmfao)

Answer #16

OMG THAT WAS AMAZING <3 (when ever I have to write a poem for class i’m funmailing you lmfao)

Answer #17

ZOMG!! That was greeeeat! Lol I looked it over at first and the big words scared me an itsy bit :S but I read it and it sucked foot! :D

Answer #18

That’s meant in a good way ^_^ It’s a new thingy I made up :D

Answer #19

It’s so cute Mig. Keep up the writing, I love it. :)

Answer #20

its an amazing poem, there are websites for people who enjoy wiritng poems and from all oveer the world allpoetry.com, it’s a good website, you should use it, with such great talent:)

Answer #21

Haha, when I got this in my email I was like ‘’sucked foot? :(‘’ but thanks for clarifying :)

Answer #22

wow :}

Answer #23

wow :}

Answer #24

Oh why thank youuu! :3

Answer #25

Aww I will, don’t worry! It’s kinda spontaneous so you might have to wait a bit lol :)

Answer #26

Lol ik what you mean! My poetry is spontaneous too. :)

Answer #27

Haha, I’m flattered, It’s spontaneous though so you have to catch me at the right time :)

Answer #28

You’re welcome :) it’s like the opposite of sucking d!ck (but I guess that isn’t all that bad either :3)

Answer #29

Depends who does it lol…

Answer #30

The suck d1ck face to the rescue :O haha

Answer #31

it was beautiful. i love it =) you should write some more. . .

Answer #32

I would but i’ts spontaneous, not planned so whenever it comes, it comes lol. :S

Answer #33

It is very beautiful and conveys the reality better than most other things.

Answer #34

I think that your poem is very sweet. Whoever receives it will love it. =)

Answer #35

You really thinsk so?! thanks Inez :D

Answer #36

Awww thanks, you’re right about that :3

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