Poem - Opinions?

This piece of artwork is amazing! ;-) I’m actually wanting to use this on another website that I belong to, so it’s definitely something special! What I like is that the rhyming doesn’t seem so forceful, if that makes sense.

It’s well rounded. Great imagery and excellent rhyme but your line alignment could be slightly improved. I found flaw in the meter through some unnecessary words and it sorta ruined the sentiment for me (no offence).Anyway I’d rate it a three out of five. Nice poem.

-Kaff-

I have never before in my life actually read a poem that made me shed a tear ( I tend to not emote much). I’ve actually had to get a tissue for this one.

This is so beautifully written- it flows so well!

The only other thing I noticed (Editor pointed out the first one…) was the line: “It pained me to remember, so I had to let myself forget.”

Perhaps it would flow better if you left out the “had to”. “It pained me to remember, so I let myself forget.”- But that’s simply a personal opinion, it’s not necessarily a QUALIFIED opinion. I would like for you to know that this poem touched my heart on a deep level- it was just the catharsis I needed to end my painful week on a peaceful note. I’m glad you shared this with us. :)

I have to say of all the poetry posted on FA that’s the best I’ve read by far!

It’s really good and I fall into the same rhythm as you when I do my poetry so my only advice is the same I’ve been given, don’t feel like you have to rhyme the last beat of each line because sometimes it’ll make it sound elementary.

(Though in my opinion it does flow better to rhyme)

xox Sika

I love it you should so post more poetry. I not really one of those people who like every peoming in the world but I truly love that one. Well Done

It’s wonderful :)

I would remove the “but” in line 2. It isn’t necessary and the line would flow better. Also, in line “My fingers softly brushed across my lordship’s name in stone “, it seems a little long for the rest of the piece when I read it out loud. Otherwise, perfection.

I liked it also… and it would be a good idea to add more of your poetry on here… its actually very beautiful…

Terrific advice :)

I actually don’t rhyme all of my poetry…this one was for a contest and the outline was pretty specific.