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Opinions on my poem?

When the sun sets, the Earth does weep for want of beauty. The rain falls and the tears flow, The hungry ground wails in anguish, the life crept forward retreats Into the earth from which it came. From the seeping pores of the earth come fires Which in their rage shout to the heavens, Crying to the stars And the bird which soars on the howling winds, Puts forth a piercing scream echoed by the wind’s wings. And from the depths of hearts shout the humans Silenced by oppressive minds and watchful eyes, Which in their desire to possess the envious hearts of men, Douse the fires that burn within them. And raising their eyes to the sky, The whole world cries out for something more.

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Answer #1

Although English is not my mother tongue, and English poetry is a difficult subject for foreigners like me. If you are fourteen it is more than ok! I think that the idea of Silenced and oppresive tends to be a bit redundant. Let’s say: if a certain thing silences we tend to think of it as negative. In contrast, “the smooth glance you gave me silenced me” Here we make a contrast, the silence has to do more with attraction and seduction than its generally associated meaning.

Answer #2

Woooah, wish I could write like that, you are really talented. You know… you should really consider getting it published!

:)

Answer #3

very good you should get it published and I am not joking either

Answer #4

thts reallly good…no joke…

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