Friend self-harming :(

I used to self harm a long long time ago. I told no one. No one EVER found out. And honestly, I thought it was 10x easier getting my life back on track all by myself, my own way. Just give her a nudge in the right direction. You shouldn’t tell anyone she doesnt want to know. aka- Everyone.Just tell her you really need her to try her best to stop, how much she means to you, and any one cut could mean you will never see her again. Make her realise the truth, things can and will get better. good luck :)

She may not want you to, but you may have to tell someone. A parent, teacher, counselor. They can help her get the help she needs. Or you could try to talk her into telling someone. Maybe even go with her when/if she does.

Mandyloo is right though. It’s not your place to tell the other friend. Only tell trusted adults. Friends can sometimes be really harsh about these things.

I self injured for years. My parents found out but didn’t do anything to help me. Now, I wish that some one had helped me get help. It’s not easy to get through on your own. It’s always easier to get through these things with other people.

You also just need to be there for her. Tell her that if she needs to talk, your there.

Here are some resources:

HELPLINES -

National Hopeline Network (U.S.A.) - www.hopeline.com - 1-800-SUICIDE S.A.F.E. Alternatives - www.selfinjury.com - 1-800-Dontcut – Self Abuse Finally Ends

TREATMENT OR COUNSELING:

American Psychological Association - locator.apa.org - counseling services locator AAMFT - www.therapistlocator.net - counseling services locator Befrienders Worldwide - www.befrienders.org - treatment and counseling services locator SAMHSA - mentalhealth.samhsa.gov - mental health services locator AACC - www.aacc.net - Christian counseling services locator

For Help with SELF-INJURY:

S.A.F.E. - www.selfinjury.com – “S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES is a nationally recognized treatment approach, professional network, and educational resource base, which is committed to helping you and others achieve an end to self-injurious behavior.”

Self Mutilators Anonymous - www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org - “Self Mutilators Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from physical self-mutilation.”

(List from: http://www.twloha.com/page.php?id=11)

More information: While not always the case, often untreated depression and other struggles lead to unhealthy ways in which we try and deal with the hurt and pain we are feeling. We try and find anything that we can do to take away the hurt, painful feelings, or negative thoughts we are experiencing. Often the things that we turn to seem to help at first, appearing to provide some of the relief that we need so badly. But, even though they may seem like they help, often they are unhealthy themselves, eventually becoming even greater struggles like addictions such as drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, or self-injury.

Self-injury remained very much a mystery until 1996 when Princess Diana revealed that she had struggled with it. It has become much more visible in society within the last ten years. Self-injury is also termed self-mutilation, self-harm, or self-abuse. It can be defined as the deliberate, repetitive, impulsive, non-lethal harming of one’s self, including but not limited to;

    1)cutting,

        2)burning, 

        3)picking or interfering with wound healing,

        4)infecting oneself, 

        5)punching/hitting self or objects, 

        6)inserting objects in to skin, 

        7)bruising or breaking bones, and 

        8)some forms of hair pulling. 

While these behaviors pose serious risks, they may be symptoms of a problem that can be treated.

Experts estimate that 4% of the population struggle with self-injury. It has the same occurrence between males and females, even though in popular culture it can appear to be more prevalent among girls.

• Emptiness

• Inability to understand or express feelings

• Loneliness

• Fear

• Past Abuse

• Depression

Self-injury, like many addictions, is often a coping mechanism to deal with some manner of internal pain, many who struggle with it also struggle with other issues such as eating disorders and alcohol and drug abuse. While self-injury may be someone’s way to cope with or relieve painful or hard-to-express feelings and is generally NOT a suicide attempt, relief is always temporary, and usually only perpetuates a destructive cycle that continues the struggle. This cycle often means that those who do not get help can become more depressed and shameful, adding to the pain and need for relief, thus perpetuating the cycle.

The Dangers of Self-Injury - While self-injury may not be about attempting suicide, the damage done while harming oneself ALWAYS carries the risks of inflicting serious, and even lethal, harm to oneself regardless of whether suicide is intended or not. Also the continued cycle of addiction and self-harm, as in substance abuse and other eating disorders can have a destructive effect on one’s health both physically and mentally, and struggles worsen as time continues without treatment.

(SAFE alternatives - www.selfinjury.com)

Self-injury, like alcohol and drug abuse and eating disorders, is addictive, and thus not something that is easy to simply ‘stop’. However, while all addictions are very difficult to overcome, help and treatment are out there and available, and recovery and freedom are possible.We believe this is true whether someone’s struggles may be self injury, depression, drugs and alcohol, body image issues, sexual addiction, or other areas of brokenness.

Research shows that those who seek professional help and therapy have a very good chance of recovery, and finding relief from symptoms such as depression and anxiety as well as others. (APA, 1998)

(From: http://www.twloha.com/page.php?id=10)

I know my answer is long, but I hope it’ll help you.