Do you think my poem is good?

judge it tell me what ever you think. I think its isn’t that good but I just want to know.

The past is set the future uncharted. Will the mistakes we made come back upon us? If so can we last another night? Or are we worth another try? It could be best to cut our losses An just say that we tried with one last good bye. Walk away better for all we did. The real question is can we be friends? To say yes with out a dought. Something I would give anything. I’m tried of the questions. I’d prefect actions all the same. maybe then we can forget the others name. thats probably the best thing for you. In which case thats all I want. Just for you smile to return. Even if it never graces me again. As long as you smile thats all I want in the end. Even if it will hurt me if its for the best I’ll walk away. It will kill me but all the same this isn’t about my pain. Its about the question can we be the same and will your smile return. To grace the shame of all this blame

Answer #1

a few mistakes, but I like itm it’s so sad, but so beatiful also, needs some editing tho

Answer #2

I like it a lot :)

Answer #3

lol yea kinda made this in 3 seconds an wasn’t in that good of a state

Answer #4

pretty good, needs some more ‘polishing’ I never judge anyone elses poetry as being ‘good’ or not- it is a creation of you, you birthed it , put it out there for what it is. I don’t ask for criticism in my poetry, I don’t follow anyone elses rules, my poetry is mine- it reflects me, and should be as unique to this world as I am.

“to say yes without a DOUBT” “I’m TIRED of the questions” “I’d PREFER(???) actions all the same” “just for you TO smile in return”

to answer the question of your poem- NO, it probably will never be the same. sometimes people who have dated CAN be friends after it is over, but that requires one of them to choke back their feelings for the other. I have never been able to do it personally. maybe one of my shortcomings- but it has never worked out, being friends with someone that I was in love with. so keep writing- the written word on paper takes a lot of the pain away. and move along with your life, eventually you will be strong enough to remember fondly what you once had, and maybe you will have another girlfriend soon, and all this will seem like it is a long way from your thoughts. new girlfriends have a habit of focusing us on the NOW instead of the THEN.

good luck dude

keep writing, and besides help with editing, don’t take crap from noone.

Answer #5

The hard thing about poetry is that editing it puts it in a cage. Instead take all the advice you get and put it into a new poem. Also what you really need to do is forget all the tension and advice. Forget grammar, spelling, etc. Why? Your poem is almost there, but it’s really ‘’tight’’. It doesn’t flow as free as it could, and gives me the sense that you tried too hard to make it something it is not. Don’t try; just write. If you have a word on the page you are successful.

beauty is nothing but death in the eyes of superficiality it shines a cold light on the face of reality with no exceptions and nothing to accept, beauty denies all from its love.

There ya go, random poem. It was an example of me writing really fast, without thinking. So you see writing fast really works! Maybe I’d use that one there… Hmm I wrote so fast I’m not sure I even understand some of it. But that’s where the tweaking comes in… When you write a super fast poem, you can tweak and edit it a tinsy bit and it’ll be really good! Try it!

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