Why did he leave me?

hi..I was dating this guy for 2years. in the beginning,we were just together to have fun.there were qualities abt him I ddnt like,and I tried to break up..but he wouldnt let me go.after a few months,I fell in love with him because he defended my honor…which was the first time anyone had done that for me. In Dec.22,2008…a day before our 2nd yr anniversary,he calle me at the office and asked for my yahoo password.not having anything to hide,I gave it to him. he went on through my laptop (which was at his house) and read my archives. I had a few chats w/old guy friends that he ddnt like. he took it as cheating…came to my office…and broke up with me. I was devastated…I tried to explain…bt he wouldnt have it. before this,we wre completely happy. I was truely devastated and was in an extremely depressed state…after a few weeks,we got back together again. he had suffered a bad accident and I took 3 weeks off work to help him get well…so he took me back after this. he started saying he loved me…he would call me all the time and txt me abt how in love he was w/me… then in March,he went off for holidays to his hometown. everything was great…he would call and txt everyday…we would chat everyday…we were totally in love. then out of no where,he texted me…saying we had to break up because we were living two different lives. he was away for 3 months…in those 3 months,I was in deep depression…had to leave the country to get well…bt it ddnt work. when he got back,we met occasionaly and had sex…and I constantly told him I wanted him back…bt he’d always say “its for the best”. its been a year since…bt im still crying over it…I’ve been to numerous doctors…im on anti-depressants and sleeping pills. he knows how much I love him… last month,I txted him telling him I missed him and loved him still…and if the feeling was mutual,for him to meet me at a certain spot…I told him id wait for him till midnight. he came. I just wanted to see him… bt he hugged me…kissed me…pulled me close to him…and convinced me to go home w/him that night. through the night,he told me he still loved me…and he held me tight till morning. when were together,he’s the most loving person …bt when he’s apart,its like he forgets me.

I begged him back…bt he sais he’s more comfortable being single because he can do what he wants. he sleeps around and that hurts me so much cz I havent even been able to look at another guy since he left me.

I know I don’t want anyone else…I know this was it for me. im 29 and I cant go through another heartache. what do I do? why doesnt he love me? should I still hope and hold on? how do I stop loving him? I’ve been to the emergency room so many times because of panic attacks in the middle of the night…I overdose on sleeping pills so I wont wake up in the morning bt I just end up sleeping for a few days…I need help and don’t know what to do… I want him back so much that I feel like throwing up everytime I think of him… why did he stop loving me? what did I do wrong? my friends tell me he’s never gna come back to me cz he dsnt love me or respect me…but I know him…I lived with him for 2 years…I know he loves me…I know he cares… help!

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Answer #1

Hey . Stop Fooling yourself. Not to b mean but you need someone to Tell you whats what. I only 17 but I no when I see someone who thinks they’ve got nothing. Take a step back. You love him you say? But yet you O.D on sleeping pills and go to the hospital, for what reason… This love you speak of might have been real at one point but now it seems more of an obsession. You are a grown women. And you Know what, You can find another grown man to make you feel special. From the sound of it you’ve been stuck on this guy who no offense just isn’t that into you. Grab ahold of your feelings, stop feeling bad yfor yourself and move on. You seem like a caring person who really wants someone to love and to be loved. Go out there and find them. That guy obviously is to caught in the moment to even consider living with you for the rest of his life. He might care, but not enough. And it’s clear. I want you to go out and Have A GOOD TIME. It sounds as if all you do is stqay at home and eat icecream all day lol. Your better then this and you no it. Have a girls night and just chill :). Sounds liek you deserve it.

Stay strong and move on girl

Hoped this helped :)

Answer #2

… honey, love is a very complicated thing. It kinda sounds like a girl I was once in love with and a guy she was in love with. While he could take her and leave her, all she did was bow to his will. Sometimes he took her back, but sometimes he was, in my honest opinion, getting a free ride out of it.

I am truly sorry for you loss. Love is an amazing thing, it makes you the happiest person on earth, but once it is betrayed or lost you feel as if you can’t go on anymore. I’ve had to walk that path twice and each time is gets harder but easier.

Honey if you love him, then you must do the most noble thing out of love. Love him enough to let him go and let him be happy with whomever he wants.

You love him for your reasons, but you don’t love him apart from you. You want him to be with you and be happy, but you can’t love him apart from you. That’s something entirely different from the selfless love which is perfect. I even have that problem.

You didn’t do anything wrong besides fall for a guy. You never cheated on him (though talking to other guys isn’t cheating but if the context of the conversation where more than casual/close friends then I can see how he would get angry). Listen, he left you probably because he cheated on you and liked that life better (hence the I like the single life and sleeping with whomever I want)

The one thing I can see out of this guy is that he knows that you love him (in that gives him control over you). He can do whatever he wants and get away with it and you have to feel the pain.

If you want my advice is he never knew what he lost. My advice is tell him, that you can’t do this anymore, and that you are done loving him and are done and moving on. By saying that you destroy the power he has over you and puts it back in your hands. Also it will make you feel stronger, and that you are moving in the right direction.

What you do after that is try to move on at least. Even if you have to act. If you force yourself to have fun and be distracted

If you want him back, and he loves you like he says he does then he’ll probably be trying to come back. Make him work for it, and make sure he’s coming back because he loves you. Give it time. Let him feel as if he’s lost you by you ignoring him. Even if you want to just jump back in his arms wait to do so until you know he is sincere.

And keep in mind its a gamble, that he may be like… ok bye. In that case, you begin to work on yourself. You then begin to make yourself the person you want to be. Live for yourself, because only then will you be able to see other guys. Remember you deserve the best, but in order to obtain it, you gotta be the best you can be… and groveling at his feet is no place for a girl like you. You deserve to be loved by a guy who sees you and only you. And that will do nothing to hurt you.

I hope this helps, and I’m truly very sorry for what has happened to you. If you have any other questions or care to talk to me more about it feel free to message me. I’m not perfect about this stuff, but I’m not a novice, and I promise I’ll help you as best as I can.

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