What's the best advice you've been giving on raising children?

What’s the best advice you’ve been giving on raising children? I’m trying to get a handle on becomming a better parent, which is a constant struggle. If we could all pitch in with a few ideas, I think we’d have a really good list. So, fess up: what’s the best advice you’ve ever been giving on raising a child?

Answer #1

I guess the best advice I ever received for raising children came from Dr.Phil. Watching him help parents on TV with uncontrollable children. The advice was this:

You have to choose your battles.

Kids are going to do things we don’t agree with and kids are always going to test you. That’s a given. But what Dr.Phil says is that instead of getting stressed over every little thing, pick the ones that you absolutely will not tolerate and then don’t budge on them. Those are your battles. In other words, don’t fight with a child over everything, but pick your battles. Only the important things.

As far as giving my own advice? My advice to parents is a rule is a rule and is not to be changed. Kids need discipline. They need to have the security in their life that if it is no now it will be no later too. The old ‘no means no’ that your parents always said to you, may seem a cliché’ but it is good. If you change the rules and this time it is OK but next time it isn’t, then your child never knows what the law is around you. This makes them want to test it on you every day. This means you go through unnecessary aggravation right along with them!

Answer #2

Tell your children that you love them everyday!! Pray with them every single night!

Answer #3

Spend good healthy time with your children , they will grow up so fast right before your eyes , join in with their schooling , games/ cheer leading ex…

Always spend time together at the Kitchen Table for meals , you’ll learn a lot . And be careful not to cut them off when their trying to open up to you

When a punishment is in order , say what you mean and mean what you say - Stick with your decision you decide , backing off leads to spoiled children in the long run

Answer #4

I don’t have a child of my own, but I was a nanny for 3 years and also played the main role in raising my now 12 year old sister. The best advice I’ve ever been given is to make sure you don’t lose sight of how you’d have felt in their situation- ever. Remember how it felt to you when your parents were saying something you thought was totally off, remember how you felt when something just didn’t seem fair or right to you that you couldn’t understand. If you’re still able to relate to them, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to teach them the lessons you want to. Also, make sure you’re giving reasons as to why they need to do what they need to do- I’m sure we all hated getting the “because I said so” excuse from our parents and I know I didn’t learn very much from it. Hope this helped!

Answer #5

That’s a great question and I think the answer is that trying to be a better parent is something you have to keep doing. I try to slow it down, really look at my kids for who they are and I tell myself that they are just borrowed for a while, they are not mine to keep. It makes me more respectful of their feelings, and thoughts.

I want my 13 and 16 year olds to trust me. I am not always happy with them and I do scold them when they step out of line. I’m fun until it’s time to address an issue. It’s not my job to be their best friend - it’s my job to raise good citizens. I have my limits too and living as part of a family means everyone has a role and everyone helps out. I make them think of their actions and help them be accountable for those actions or lack thereof. It helps that I am a funny/sarcastic and I try to rent space in their heads as much as possible. Get my money’s worth before they are out of their own… wink wink. We’re close because I know my place and they know their place and our mutual respect is making our time together pretty great. I don’t expect them to always get along or to agree with me. I welcome better ideas to solve an issue cause I’m not perfect but if I need to direct a situation for the good of everyone, they understand because I’ve talked to them so they can see me as a person instead of someone who’s there just for them.

Children are naturally egocentric. It’s not a bad thing, it’s nature. My mother always told us, “You can disagree all you want but you don’t have my permission to hate each other”. I like my mom as much as I love her…


Answer #6

The problem with advice about kids on the web these days, is that people are not unequivocal. They usually tell you to talk to your doctor, or other person that you can go see physically.

In a sense they’re right, but then again, they’re not really helping you.

My two cents?

  • Spend quality time (not quantity time) – they’ll remember that quality time more. I remember those little special times from my childhood with incredible clarity. The other parts are a distant memory.

  • Set aside just 15-30 minutes for teaching them something new every few days or so. Something that they don’t learn at school. Make it like a classroom setting. Be fully engaged at this time.

  • Let the kids talk. I repeat, let the kids talk. Don’t shush them, unless its really necessary

  • Let them experiment. Again, let them do stuff by themselves. It breeds independence.

Maybe other people will have suggestions?

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