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What do you think of this poem?

I use to say id never do the worst, in all the things you find on earth

Id never drink, id never smoke, I wouldn’t see life as a joke

And now at the age of 23 I look back on what life’s come to be

I smile, I cry, and I shred everything inside

And see my world with a new set of eyes.

The scars that keep and run so deep

Are reflections of lessons, some make you smile

And others make you weep.

The days we hold dear, and eyes in witch we seek

All come together when life feels most weak.

Others will come to be the aide by your side

But they don’t your world and most, cherish sweet lies.

I’ve seen the plateau in witch god resides

I’ve felt my whole world pour out from my eyes.

And now I’m here, at 23. and I’ve already lived what seems an eternity.

I am no longer frightened to take a look inside

And I’m at peace with myself, and what death, has in mind

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Answer #1

Thats really cool, your just like me 15 min your done, but it also shows that you understand your thoughts enough to make them in the form of poetry. I love seeing that in people. If you ever want to see the best poetry I swear in the 1800s they just wrote from the soul and you felt them. Like heres one its so good:

“Light”

The night has a thousand eyes, The day but one; Yet the light of the bright world dies With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart just one; Yet the light of a whole life dies When its love is done.

-Francis W. Bourdillon

Answer #2

very deep, very real, very good. I loved it. you seem to have a natural flow with your work, thats a good thing to have, all I think you need is more knowledge word a wider vocabulary… but your on the right track dude, keep it up.

Answer #3

very nice poem… I appreciate you enjoyed mine. I won a contest last year with some stuff, im in 2 books. just armature contest but still its pretty cool to make it into a book. I like people’s honest opinion, what they like, and what they hate. im currently looking for a good site to post poetry on, but I have yet to find it.

Answer #4

well like the first one said, I wrote it all down very quickly, it took all of 10 mins and I was done. it just pours out of me, and yes cuddles, I have much much more but I dont post them. and thank you all for the feedback.

Answer #5

More or less except for spelling mistakes and shortfalls in cadence

Answer #6

wow that’s very touching and deep

Answer #7

I think it is really good. it is to similar to what my life is . it seems as if you didn’t have to much trouble writing it all down. like it was played over and over in your head and you just started writing it all and it seemed more like reality. ifyo have any more I would like to see them. I like it.

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