What do you think of my 1st poem?

I really wanted to read more!!!I love it!!!

Beautiful you have really talent and you should not forget Castellano either

I do like the intense emotion from it, although the rhyming isn’t the greatest. I kind of like poems that are either really catchy or don’t rhyme at all, poems that are random. But really this is good! I think the best poems come when you are angry or depressed extremely like in an overly emotional state of mind. Try to write at those times and don’t even care if it’s good or bad just write for the sake of getting it out. Like-

blue like an ocean white as a feather colors clash in vague vision and yet they go together. red is anger and hatred burnt black yellow tinging the outsides a sadistic smiling happiness and the rainbow emits from the knife as you stab killed in a second a billion emotions you had.

That was completely random but it was fast really fast. If you think it’s bad then oh well it was an attempt at an example ha :P

sooo not bad…I loved it… :D

…that’s really good. Please, keep writing. I’d love to read more.

I love it!!! ahahaha, nice word choice and everything, and it flows very nicely.. gosh, for the first poem, you didn’t pretty darn good. nice job miguel :D

hey now, theadambeale..that was really rude, for his first poem he did pretty well.. I’m a poet myself, so don’t say rudeness.. miguel, you did a wonderful job, don’t let that guy tell you any different..

It looks really good man. I’d keep it up. First time? Rally? Man my first poem sucked balls…lol. Metaphorical language, good flow. Me likes :)

Btw, the only way to really write is to be proud of what you produce. Even if it is crap, it’s crap from the heart (not saying this is crap, but you know…). Keep that in mind :-)

I think for a first try, it’s quite well done - you have some great potential and with practice you’ll be able to make the words dance right off the page.

Be careful of redundancy, and don’t be afraid to play with some metaphors to enhance the word play.

I hope you’ll continue writing…I’d love to watch how you grow into it!