What do you think about hte poem( cold fire)?

Cold fire

Cold waters from the heavens above
Washed away my sand tanned eyes To set me free like the old arks dove Soaring from my coldest desires.

For long I craved for the fleets to plea Oh’ what wind do birds not ride? Did liberty’s tides ever break a knee? Do the flies find a cattle too wide? Or must my batism be of fire?

A drink to burn the lips I taste In torments neither do I haste I endure miseries, agonies and pain And still wonder,if all should be in vain

Estasies took agonies away I remember still like it was yesterday Chains are broken, pleasures intead The legacy is made and with the winds am lead.

Guns and roses? What wander’s of how it feels Dust or due? Blood on a lily? Flowers deflowering. Summer’s sunshine or the coldest winter Now or then ,cherry popper You’ll be free.

Answer #1

you MAY be right!

Answer #2

Your rhyme & rhythym is all over the place, it does not flow it is very choppy & a bit awkward, like you couldn’t quite decide what format you wanted to stick with.

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