Poem - Isolation - Comments?

It’s wonderful.

Your metre is off, and alters dramatically, beginning in the fourth quatrain. Pretty common rhyming pattern, abab, which isn’t bad…better than aabb, but you should probably try more creative rhymes. Also, you have rhymes that are not correct. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a common beginner’s mistake in form poetry. Basically, if you’re going to do form, you should do it properly, and really put some serious thought into what you’re writing. Post production editing is a really good idea. The concept of the poem is a little vague. It almost seems as though you wrote the quatrains separately, and then pieced them together later on. There isn’t continuity in it, particularly because of the hardcore metre shift. I don’t know how much poetry you read, but you should probably invest some time to do just that, from modern free verse to the traditional forms, from iambic pentametre to rhymed quatrains to limericks &c &c. I hope I haven’t offended you. I’ve given you the kind of critique I would give a serious writer, or someone who is interested in seriously improving their work, so if you’re just a casual poet, who doesn’t really care about their technique, don’t worry about it, this is quite average for that level of authorship. Above all, keep reading, keep writing, and keep expressing yourself.