Why do parents try to control kids?

You have got to be kidding. Until a child is 18 years old they are a minor and are their parents responsiblity, when they mess up and break the law the parents get punished for it also. It would be a pretty irresponsible and not caring parent who would let their child raise themselves…a parents job is to protect their children and teach them the lessons they need in life whether the like it or not. When your a parent one day it will all makke sense.

because theyr retarded.

Parents typically just want to keep their children safe, and want them to lead a happy succesful life as adults. How they go about that is different with each person.

i find it that the lesson is better learn by the “”minor”” without the help of parents, i think a good age to let the kids get responsiblity over their self would be like 14

Is that your final answer?

yea.

Because most teenagers have poor impulse control, a lowered ability to make good judgments, an invincibility complex, and a know-it-all attitude that makes it very hard for them to believe that maybe their parents have a point. It’s nice and all to think that people will learn from their mistakes, but given that the parents end up paying for these mistakes, they have every right to control the kid. For example, if the kid breaks a bone because the kid was being stupid, the parent has to pay the hospital bills. Once the kid is out on their own, paying their own bills, the kid can do whatever they want.

ya just doubt kids, now some kids are just plain dumb and need to be watch

but most can handle theirs own

I think it’s best to leave the deciding if a teen is capable or not up for the parents and not teens, don’t you agree?

Well then…before you start trying to diminish the mental capacity of others, make sure you have enough intelligence of your own to make the claim. It’s spelled “they’re”.

i don’t consider myself a teen,

and i find it best to leave that up to the kids

If you compare how much “control” your parents had over you at age 2, 6, 10, 14 and so on you will notice that they have given more and more freedom to you. The problem here is that at around age 14 each person decides it’s their life and they should be able to make their own decisions. This would work fine if at that age you could support yourself and be the only person legally responsible for your own mistakes.

Until you reach a certain maturity level you will make poor choices even if you know the right answers. Which is the better parent? The one who stops you from jumping off the cliff or the one who stands by with 911 on speed dial just incase you break your neck.

I was a kid once ya know? Not that long ago. Actually all adults were kids once. They know what kids are capable of, they know what sort of stupid stuff they got into, and they know better than to listen to a kid claim that they are oh so responsible. Oh, and if the kid really was responsible, they wouldnt be wandering around at 11pm. Really this was never a complaint I had. Perhaps it’s why my parents were fine with me living on my own as a teenager. I graduated when I was 16. I guess it’s a case by case thing, and maybe the parents who decide their teens arent capable have a reason for that.

how you going say they not responsible, just cause they walking around at 11pm?

that show if they responsible or not, a lot of teens really are but they just don’t show it

What exactly would you call being responsible? I’d call it, staying in school and having exceptionally good grades, which I clearly don’t. Do chores around the house without being told to, I still don’t.

Walking around at 11pm is asking for trouble. Have you noticed responsible adults dont usually randomly walk around at 11pm for no good reason? And responsibility is not an innate characteristic. It’s not like saying she’s a really good artist, she just doesnt show it. Responsibility is making good decisions. You can only be responsible if you show it.

Oh and the whining. Adults dont whine. I think that’s generally what separates an adult from a child.

@ Miguel:: doing chores is being helpful ( that a choice ), getting good grades ( is a choice if you try), which don’t really matter cause they both are choices you make for yourself

@ Ty::: walking around at 11pm or even 2am is not asking for trouble, adult is different from teens, and you can hide being responsibility if you want

But I wanna be an adult…! Waaa! :’(

Choices? Yes, they are choices, they are responsible choices that some adults I know would much rather take if they had the chance to.

some peoples who are responsible still make childish or dumb choices, but they got a damn good reason for it

And that would be?

And ok, I rest my case with your non-argument of being able to hide responsibility. This is getting into a ‘no it’s not’ ‘it is so’ ‘nu uh’ argument which is entirely pointless. Also, I dont deal with whining well. You believe whatever you want to believe. You asked a question, you simply wanted others to agree how much parents suck (typical teenager), and now that people are disagreeing with you, you dont like it. Perhaps there’s a reason some parents dont allow their kids out in the middle of the night, and I am very thankful for those parents.

idk

i never said parents suck, they nice peoples

i don’t care if ya disagree

you misunderstood

I actually agree, to an extent, with the letting go. There comes a time when parents need to take off the training wheels and let kids learn for themselves, but they still need to be able to enforce consequences. For example, my 14 year old son likes to stay up late and watch movies, but the rule is that he has to be in bed by 2 am. Failure to do so results in a 10:00 bedtime the next night. He’s not the most responsible kid, but he is trustworthy to the point where he tells us when he stayed up past his bedtime. There are limits, though. I wouldn’t allow my son to stay outside all hours of the night, and that’s a matter safety more than trust. A lot could happen to a young teen in the dark of the night.

that seem like you being paranoid, i bet he could handle his self at night if something would to happen

well maybe i’m wrong, on this case

Just like Mandyloo said if you are under 18 that means that your parents are your gaurdian. they also try to control you is because they care about you and they want to protect you. Ask your parents and they will tell you why they are controlling.

We dont control We just try to steer you along the right path Or would you rather be left out there on your own Think of all those kids who have NO family to give them the love that your parentsgive you You may not see it as Love But they Do

My son is small for his age…there’s no way he could handle himself if a full-grown man tried to harm him in any way…that’s not paranoia - that’s common sense.

Ya right, sorry but REALLY? 14 years is basically still a child. Your body isn’t even properly developed at 14 and neither is your mind. No ways I am agreeing with that one.

Because…it takes MATURITY to learn to control oneself…both emotionally and physically. Children need leadership..and leadership is sometimes miscontrued at “control”.

p

Every parent wants their children to be well behaved and respect their parents.Parents are our protectors,they save us from bad company and advice us the best.If we always think we are always right,no we can be wrong. Anyone who has experiece more than us,is our parents.Our parents who are way bigger than us have long life experieces,it is always worth listening to them.If they tell us something,it is always important to me,for they can point out the pitfalls and mistakes that have taught them to avoid. For me,Parents have every right to control their children,no matter what the age is,they will always be bigger, they always want their children to choose a right path in their lives. Now coming to you,you only think you can handle,well maybe you can but some may not and choose a wrong path.When you will be someone’s father,you will know on your own.why not doing letting your child do anything in future at the age of fourteen? So,parents are everything to me,listen to them –a better step to make your life successful.

letting a kid take more responsibility doesnt mean let them run wild make sure they take responisbility for their actions, give them more chores, have them take on more adult like responsibilities, not necessarily letting them go wherever they want etc. help them find odd jobs to start saving money etc. I think thats what hedgecortha meant. at 14 most kids are getting ready to enter high school with a bunch of 18 year olds…might want to start making them act responsibly

I think that at a certain age a parent might consider stopping the child like punishments like time out or grounding and start mimicking the real world. kind of like let the punishment fit the crime type thing. For example, if the kid is 17 and is not respecting the parent, like in the real world one must give respect to get it.

So to a certain extent paretns still need to know certain things about their childs life, but there comes a time when its best to treat them with adult responsibility (NOT to be mistaken with adult freedom)

For example, when i turned 18 (yes no longer a minor but still living under my parents roof) my parents said I had adult responsibilites without adult freedom (which is similar to adult life anyway) It taught me to be responsible , respect my parents as a human being not just because they were my parents, and we lived in the same house as grown adults.

So I guess there is a middle ground between parenting and preparing them for the adult world

LOVE YER PARENTS….they always take the fall for their kids mistakes and love them even if they F*CK UP! that what parents do! and they do way so much more! because they love you!

Because they’re afraid to see their children get hurt or make mistakes. That really is the truth. Of course there is control that is unhealthy control. And that, is just mental illness. Just brace it until your 18 then rise up and out and beyond and be loving and kind to your own children!

dude i feel you..hah i’m 17 this november and my parents treat me like i’m 8.they won’t let me go to the fair unless i’m with an adult ,f**kin stupid and they won’t let me get my license,i can’t have sex at all even with a condom lol.i can’t go walking down my road or my woods.when i go shopping they’re right on my ass!honestly they are too controling! thank goodness i turn 18 in 15 more months! i’m so excited because i am moving in with my boyfriend on the night i turn 18 whether my parents are sad or mad.lmao.they don’t know i have that as a plan. i also believe that parents are okay with being a little contronling but i think unless we’re like 14 or younger we should be able to do most anything unless its getting high or something like that.:)good question

parents control kids and government controls everyone else.

Sometimes I don’t like when my parents don’t let me do things… hang out with friends go out late etc. But I understand why they don’t allow you to do those certain things… If your parents do allow you to do certain things but say your being irresponsible than best thing to do is actually act like you care and grow up… And sometimes you don’t do those things and you have to learn the hard way.. life isn’t always fair.

I’m sorry but at 14 years old, yea you want to be an adult but, you know it’s not going to work. Maybe I think from that perspective cuz im a girl, but dude part of trust and growing up is having DISCIPLINE…. you just gotta enjoy being a kid, because when your all grown up and paying bills and your parents aren’t there to hold your hand anymore… your going to want it back that much more.

lol, too much that 70’s show.

no i hate when parents try to control our every actoin nowing they were once our age we will never noe our mistakes if they stay holding our hand let us fall so we can learn how to get back up u guys make ti to complicatdur acting like since we wanana go out were saying we wanna move out forever and pay bills when actuality its notlke that we just want freedom to be who we are

because thier kids would be out of control of they didnt.

If parents never took control of their kids this world would be chaotic probably cause half the kids in the world don’t bother listening to their parents and they think they are better off on their own when deep down they know they aren’t.

Parents just want the best for their children when they get older so they won’t grow up to be a low life with a dead end job making low wage unable to raise a family, or even his/her own future family. Parents top off ALMOST everything in your life, without them, I’m sure their kids would be lost.

I agree, but even adults cause the world to be chaotic, or why do wars exist? It can’t be because of kids.

IN THE LONG RUN PARENTS DONT WANT THEIR CHILDREN TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES THEY MADE.. OR WOULD YOU RATHER BE LEFT AT YOUR OWN DEVICES, MAKE THE MISTAKES THEN WHAT DO YOU DO !! CALL MUM & A DAD JUST LISTEN TAKE NOTE AND ENJOY YOUR CHILD HOOD CAUSE WHEN ITS GONE ITS GONE THEY JUST LOVE YOU AND PROTECTING YOU

Cause the parent is responsible for the kid.

Well I am all for letting a kid take responsibility for themselves.

Personally I had to take control of my money at around 8. And that was what I had to spend. All my friends got pocket money every month or their parents gave them money when they went out. I worked every Saturday since then. It often sucked, but today I know how to work with money. I’m 22, recently bought a flat as an investment and thus far have absolutely no money problems. Never had any in fact.

Further I have always been allowed to go out and do stuff during week nights and also during exams. I could choose when I wanted to do homework, as long as it got done.

I also stayed home alone for about 3 hours after school since I was 12.

I see no problem in giving more freedom, I would just make it at a younger age than 14.

:)

I do think It depends on your parents, and how mature a person acts… Maybe you were mature and they let you do what you need to do, and that’s cool! But obviously this guy is immature, or doesn’t follow his parents rules. I’m going by what I think and not others. But when your parents say no than just get over it.

Ah a discussion that can turn into a debate on nature vs nurture. You assume I was mature and that is the reason I was given more freedom and I believe that extra freedom made me mature.

Don’t really see what is immature about the question too, seems like an honest question and everyone attacks him for it without giving proper explanations. Basically everyone is telling him it is stupid without proper reasoning. If that is a sign of maturity, then please I never want to be mature in my life!

cuz they hate us