I ama father of five and about a year ago my then wife went on a trip and had an affair. She claims we were seperated and justifies it so . I have had accusations thrown around at me and cannot have a conversation with her without it becoming heated . Throughtout this I have become re-united with a dear and close friend who would like to take it to the next level. Problem is she lives in another province. For it to work I would have to move there, ( which I have no problem with ) other than my kids. There is no way my ex will let me take the kids. This leaves me with the choice of do I go and find true happiness or do I stay hoping to meet someone that makes me feel as good as she does and be miserable and controlled by my ex? ( There is more to the story . Trying to give a shortened version). I have no intention of losing contact with my children as my dad was neverr there for me til I was about ten. Looking for someone or others who have been in a similar situation . Don't want o hurt my kids but I want to be happy . Is this selfish?
you're not selfish. this is a really tough situation, but I'm sure you could find someone who lives near you. you could go visit her for a month and spend a week with your kids, then she could visit you for a month (or longer) and if your kids like her maybe you could even take them with you when you visit her. when I was around 11 or 12 years old, my mom and dad got divorced. it was tough, but to weigh down my and my sister's burden, my dad got a horrible girlfriend who had two horrible kids. one of them was my age, and the other eight. they were both boys. they were all three jerks and my now stepmom is always negative about her job and everything like that, and her two boys as bad if now worse. nobody should be pressured by this situation and I'm sorry.
I was curious if the other woman has children or not?
But my advice is that your children are going through a tramatic situation right now. Probably the best thing to do is to NOT move away from them because they are going to need you now more than ever. It's bad enough for them that their parents are no longer together but now they are going to feel like they've lost their dad too. I'd wait it out with this woman...keep in touch...see each other as often as possible to maintain that connection. Because if it's real...it will endure. Right now your kids need their dad.
and just so everyone knows FAU stands for From Anonymous User. its a shared account. not someones account. if you dont want to be identified it goes under this account. its shared between all users. these are real people with real situations.
thank you
I agree with artteacher2010...to give your children more heartache right now would be unbearable. Wait till things settle down and then follow your heart. If she's the right woman for you she will understand that your kids come first.
You can keep in touch with them. Cards, letters, phone calls, gifts, emails, and visits.
drewico, dont be rude
