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My poem, what do you think?

Hey guys, what do you think of my poem? Honestly. It’s my first one:$

When I first heard your name, When I first saw your face on the cam, damn baby, it’s not a shame but, the feelings I got for you, are so pure, they so real, they always heal the pain, the pain I no longer have, When you walked into my life, I knew right then, I want to be your wife, To be your only one, for us to have a daughter or maybe a son, Baby I never felt like this before, When I feel your arms around my waist, and then everything around me moves at a slow pace, As your lips touch mine, boy you just passed the line, but I’m happy you did, baby where did you hide? Not in my mind, not in my soul, but now I found you, you were there waiting for me, because I think we were meant to be, life without you was alright, but baby now that I have you, hold onto me so damn tight, and never let go, because one day I hope you do no, how much I love you, and I can’t get enough of you, because your more precious than a gold ring, Baby I have a serect, you are my king.

Thank you(L)!

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Answer #1

I like what you have to say. It seems like your heart is really in it. I don’t think that you should try to make everything rhyme though. I noticed that some of the words were spelled similairly but didn’t rhyme anyway and that’s okay. There’s a lot of feeling and that’s the main thing.

That’s what I think, but what do I know?

Actually, I won a spot in a poetry book when I was in technical college. I submitted two poems and both made it but one, in particular, was very short and every line rhymed. It was so silly and I hated it. It went something like ‘letting go, being free to be me’ I don’t know… but ever since, I have this thing about not liking poems that rhyme just for the sake of rhyming. I think I should seek help.What do you think? LOL

Carol

Answer #2

good

Answer #3

u think it as a poem , but it is just words with no meaning first read some good poems to understand what it mean by poem

Answer #4

I loved this poem it is so good an it speaks the truth keep up the good work ☺

Answer #5

Really?! That means a lot:) thank you, that’s basically how I feel:)

Answer #6

Awww, I loved it..

Elena Toledo

Answer #7

To, angelbaby15, and piker187, thank you, all the other’s were way to you know. I wasn’t asking wether you think it’s a poem or not and I didn’t ask you on how I should write it. That’s my heart, and that’s that. And please don’t go on with your stories. No one’s perfect, you feel what you feel.

But anywho. thanks to angelbaby15 and piker187. Since this is my first poem and I am young, it means a lot:) Much love to both of you.

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