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When I trip, I trip for you, Though I missed, I’m not so blue. Now you’re disappearing, Much, without caring.

Now I cry, Hoping to die, Not about to lie.

Now I see you with him, He’s about to sin. Not one of us will win.

When he leaves you, Will that be the final clue, That he never loved you?

Then, when you need an arm to lean on, You’ll find that I’m far gone, singing a song, titled So f**k’in Long.

One day, you might find me, seeing how happy I be. Then when you’re sad and alone, I give you the flag of Sorrow, The flag you alone, Had so easily Sown.

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Answer #1

Yea, I’m not really experienced. But I wrote this a few mouths ago and I’ve made many more since then, I just don’t want to post those.

Answer #2

this is pretty good.. the only thing that makes this clearly written by an inexperienced writer is the rhyming sometimes, in order to rhyme, you ruined the flow ..maybe get a rhyming dictionary? don’t have to rhyme, and keep in mind that words that just sound similar but don’t actually rhyme can have the same effect as rhyming.. Also maybe for your next, maybe try having more than three lines in a stanza/ verse whatever you want to call it..it might help with the flow of the entire piece not bad though, not at all

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