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Feedback on this poem?

I wrote this peom a few weeks ago and I’ve made some chabges on it since then but I was wanting some feedback on it ((and please be honest)) it doesn’t have really any meaning: Tick-Toc theres not much time left. Tick-Tock I’ve waited too long. I’ve waited here for you and now your gone. You come back by to say goodbye. Tick-Tock there it goes again. There goes another minute, passing by. Drip-Drop drip-drop, split-splat split-splat, there goes my tears. My heart in two, left here to boo. Tick-Tock my time is running out if you want me back you’ve got 20 seconds till I drop. Tick-Tock Tick-Tock not much time left. Leave your excuses behind I’ve heard them all before and it takes too much time for you to explain. Tick-Tock 5 more seconds till I drop. Tick-Tock Tick-Tock time is out. I’m sorry to come by and wasted so much time. But this time I’ve come by to say goodbye

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Answer #1

I know I need 2 work on it but I just wanted other people points on it..thanks4 answering simley 080 what do you mean??

Answer #2

Never ask one’s thoughts on what you’ve created. Not because lies are bound to defeat flattery, but because a creation is not only a construction, it’s also a feeling. Of course technique may count, as a style, but in fact there are many sorts of poetry, from naive to mystical. The only real matter is the cact you’ve given life to void, and that is priceless.

Answer #3

Yeah, it doesn’t have to rhyme but it needs some rhythm.

I, also, agree that you should make it more uniform by separating sentences.

It would be easier to read & understand.

I don’t like all the Tick Tocs & Drip Drops. When I read it without them, it seemed to flow better.

Also, I’m not sure about the count-down (it seems like a threat of some kind even though it may not be)

However, I think there is a story in there.

Answer #4

pretty good but it would be easier to read if they were seperated into different lines

Answer #5

its good, you just need to work on it a bit maby

Answer #6

its pretty good, but it might just need a little more work make 4line stanza an dyou’ll see what I mean.

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