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Feedback on this poem?
I wrote this peom a few weeks ago and I’ve made some chabges on it since then but I was wanting some feedback on it ((and please be honest)) it doesn’t have really any meaning: Tick-Toc theres not much time left. Tick-Tock I’ve waited too long. I’ve waited here for you and now your gone. You come back by to say goodbye. Tick-Tock there it goes again. There goes another minute, passing by. Drip-Drop drip-drop, split-splat split-splat, there goes my tears. My heart in two, left here to boo. Tick-Tock my time is running out if you want me back you’ve got 20 seconds till I drop. Tick-Tock Tick-Tock not much time left. Leave your excuses behind I’ve heard them all before and it takes too much time for you to explain. Tick-Tock 5 more seconds till I drop. Tick-Tock Tick-Tock time is out. I’m sorry to come by and wasted so much time. But this time I’ve come by to say goodbye
I know I need 2 work on it but I just wanted other people points on it..thanks4 answering simley 080 what do you mean??
Never ask one’s thoughts on what you’ve created. Not because lies are bound to defeat flattery, but because a creation is not only a construction, it’s also a feeling. Of course technique may count, as a style, but in fact there are many sorts of poetry, from naive to mystical. The only real matter is the cact you’ve given life to void, and that is priceless.
Yeah, it doesn’t have to rhyme but it needs some rhythm.
I, also, agree that you should make it more uniform by separating sentences.
It would be easier to read & understand.
I don’t like all the Tick Tocs & Drip Drops. When I read it without them, it seemed to flow better.
Also, I’m not sure about the count-down (it seems like a threat of some kind even though it may not be)
However, I think there is a story in there.
pretty good but it would be easier to read if they were seperated into different lines
its good, you just need to work on it a bit maby
its pretty good, but it might just need a little more work make 4line stanza an dyou’ll see what I mean.
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