How to grieve?

This is a very tough question so the best advice I can give you is from my own experience. I lost my father, a few friends and both my grandmothers. Each death was different and I seem to react to them differently but the hardest hands down was the death of my father.

So I think I can totaly relate to how hard it must be for you to loose your grand-dad since he was like your dad. My father was the first person that was really close to me that died and it was a shock really. The one thing I can tell you is that the pain subsides with time. But it takes time, and sometimes when you talk about him you might shed a tear but it won’t be like it is now. Now it’s like a big whole in your heart, it’s like being run over by a car and you are in the hospital healing. You might not see how badly hurt you are but grieving is like that. You have to be kind to yourself and patient. You have to cry at times and also laugh. The important thing is not to get lost in your grief. Always remember how much your grand-dad loved you and how much he would wish to see you happy and enjoying life. You’ll find that some days are better then others. And slowly over time you’’ll come to grips with the fact that you might not see him, hug him or be with him but he is still an integral part of your life, in your heart, in the values he taught you and in the memories you have and can share with others. So don’t forget to share with others, your closest frineds and family because it can really help to talk about him and what he meant to you.

Personaly, it took me at least a year to be ok with it, then another 6 months to be more fonctional and peaceful. But in the end for me, I still grieve at times (it’s been 20 years) but at least now I can talk about him without crying and most of the time, I’m just so happy to have had such a loving dad.

As for fear of losing people, that is also tough but you can’t let it rule your life. I found it helped facing my own mortality and also trying to live my life as fully as possible. No regrets, always say I’m sorry if I screwed up, always say I love you and mean it.

Confort yourself in the mystery of this wonderful universe that we live in, so many possibilties, so little that we know, so much beauty and perfection. Instead of clinging on to fear of the unknown, the future or loss, go forward to bigger and better learnings. I know it’s really rough now but I promise things will calm down and get better soon. Life is in cycles, like days, good days, bad days. Lighten your burden by having in trust that tomorrow will be a better day.