Family prefer to mourn grandfather's death than to rejoice in baby's birth?

I am curious on what others may think of this situation. My grandfather has had Alzheimer’s disease for at least ten years now, and for quite sometime not been able to talk, eat, bathroom, etc. on his own. Does not even seem to recognize others. He is now to the point where it is believed he may die (although my family has been saying he is going to die for, well, ever). Well, in a few weeks my baby is due. I have other children and am in need of family to help with watching them during labor so that my husband can be with me. My father was always there before but he suddenly died last year. My grandmother asked me if I had found someone to help me and I replied, “no, I have no one but my family”. Her response, “well, it looks like this is going to be a sad time for our family…losing two people in such a short period”. My response, “yes, I understand it is sad but it is the cycle of life and our greatest gift in dealing with loss is the birth of new life” (my grandfather is 86). Basically, they (my father’s siblings and grandmother) have chosen not to be there for me so that they are able to be with my grandfather and mourn his death. I have always known that my family is VERY dysfunctional, but it still boggles my mind how that they can be this way. My husband’s parents died long ago, like I said, my father died last year, and I am estranged from my mother; it just seems to me that my family would be willing, and maybe even excited, to welcome a new life into the world after losing people they love. I guess that they prefer sadness to joy. Interested to hear what others may think of this “family” behavior. Thanks.

Answer #1

Well, they’re in a lot of pain right now. They’re grieving and it’s not because they want to grieve. They obviously care for you and your baby, but this is the only time they will ever have with grandpa until he passes. They have every right to spend that time with him, and I think they should be spending as much time as they can with him. Why don’t you go with them to visit your grandpa? Or confront them about how you’re feeling because maybe they’re unaware. You just have to be understanding that they are dealing with a lot.

Answer #2

I wish your Grandfather get well soon and he will see this good news..My Prayers with U.. Dr.Moaz

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