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How to deal with parents who are different from me?

I grew up entirely in the States, and now I just realized that I can’t deal with my parents having values & concepts that are very different from mine. I am living in Taiwan right now, trying to understand and learn the values here, but I still can’t accept their concerns over minor details of things. I want a simple life, and I’m old enough to have my simple life. But does that mean that I should not have contact with my parents if every time we meet I should get an earful of scolding, yelling, or complaining? I remember a saying from the movie “Selena”, where the dad said: “It’s tough being a Mexican-American. You’re too Americanized for the Mexicans, and you’re too ethnic for the Americans.” I remember what he said since I saw that movie. I don’t suffer from identity crisis because I know who I am and should be, but my parents seem to think I(we) should be different. I’m wondering if anybody is suffering like me. Thanks.

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Answer #1

I understand how hard this could be for you. In the end of it all you should just be happy with yourself. Always respect your parents, and maybe hear what they have to say but ultimately this is your life and you have to live it at peace and how you would like to live. Parents always expect you to be a certain way. However, we can’t please the whole world because everyone has a different view on how you should live. When you talk to your parents on the phone and they yell and critisize you, my advice would be just to listen…expect that from parents, try not to fight back. However, don’t become so affected by it. Live your life the way you want and ultimately when your mom and dad see that you are happy..they will also be content. I hope you can go past this. Best of luck

Answer #2

It’s tough having parents who have different values. My mum’s plan for me is get married, have kids, surround yourself with other people from the community, and raise your kids… and that’s life summed up. And I suppose its ok for some people, but it’s not for me. We’ve had our fights about who she thinks I should be, and what I should be doing… But I suppose it could be worse, my friend is Pakistani, she was basically forced into an arranged marriage to a guy who is ridiculously conservative (she’s the most liberal minded person I know). So all things considered, it could be worse…

Answer #3

Thanks~

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