How to deal with a homophobic parent?

I have come to the conclusion that my dad is somewhat homophobic. He likes to question why people are gay or how do they know they like the same gender. When I came out to him and my momma as Bi my dad was playing 20Q with me asking all kinds of questions about it and wanting to know how I know and all of this stuff. My brother has a friend who is gay and he has made comments about him as well, such as, If he had married the woman he dated he wouldn’t have thought about being gay.. He also says that gay’s should get married. So what do you all think? Do you think he is homophobic by the way he acts and the things he says? Does it sound homophobic to you? If so, how does one deal with a homophobic parent? I don’t know what to do. He will still from time to time try to question me. He doesn’t get it and I just don’t know what to do.. Any advice or suggestions is welcomed. Thanks.

Answer #1

Solely from what you said, it seems more like he just doesn’t understand and is trying to find some sort of understanding about it. It’s hard to tell if he is, at least somewhat, but it seems even if he were he’s trying to deal with it which is more than you can say for some parents.

Answer #2

Can’t tell if mildly homophobic or just trying to understand a subject that he has never before had to face. Many seem to think that ‘gayness’ is a choice a person makes. If they are asked why males are attracted to females, they are confusedly answer … “They just ARE!” Well in exactly that sense is the attraction of LGBT individuals. He is your Dad, and you are of age where you are free to live your life, and hopefully are on your own. Understand that he is trying to understand. Give him time. And remember that there is still love between the two of you. Take care, and Good Luck!!

Answer #3

To me, it seems like he just doesn’t really understand it. He probably doesn’t entirely agree with it, but if he’s being a loving parent to you even though knowing your preference, it’s entirely possible that he’ll come around the more he understands and sees you happy with someone.

In the end of it all, you just have to keep in mind that no one is perfect. Everyone says things, at times, without realizing their impact. If your dad says something that offends you, just sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart. Let him know that while you’re okay answering any questions that he has, that it hurts you when he sometimes mentions certain things. Explain to him that you want to be happy, and that you’d really appreciate his support because you love him and he means a lot to you too.

Answer #4

I have kinda had he acceptance situation as well, really, it depends, it sounds like he just doesn’t know enough to judge, and I am bi too. Just remember that no matter what your dad will always love you.

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