Funadvice Logo
+ List
More Parents & Family Questions

How do I cope with the loss of my dad after 15 years?

I lost my dad in 1995 he was at work and he was a deliveryman he pulled over on the side of the road and had a massive heart attack. I was only 9 at the time. Now im 23 and its still so hard for me to deal with it. I still sit and cry and feel like screaming his name. I feel so envious of people like my boyfriend for example and his relationship with his dad. I get so mad and sad cause my kids will never no what a great man he was. Can you guys plse help me I don’t think I’ll ever truly be happy untill I learn how to just let go!

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

Oh my dear, you don’t want to let go of the memory of your Dad, what you want to do is let go of the hurt and not focus on his death. We never stop missing a loved one who has passed away, rather we get used to them not being around. I cannot imagine how you must have felt growing up without a Father, it must have been very painful for you and to lose him at such a young age too. However, ask yourself this, is this how your Father would want you to behave, would he want you to constantly shed tears, mourn his passing, or would he want you to live your life in a manner that would make him proud? Make a deal with yourself, pick a day, like Fathers day or his birthday, or the day he passed. On that day, rather than be sad choose to celebrate his life and what a wonderful Dad he was, then if you feel the need to, cry a little, but only for say five minutes, that is the longest you will allow yourself to be sad. Keep a photograph in a special place of honor. One last thing, see if you can find a good councilor who can help you thorough your feelings of grief, pray to god for strength and courage (if you are religious) and try to focus on the living, the people who have blessed your life and love you now.

Take care and I hope you find the inner peace you are searching for. :)

Answer #2

my dad died when I was 10 and now I am 13. I cry a lot when I say my prayers cause I talk to him when I pray. I just like to remember the good times I had with him. His death was and still is really hard on me. A couple of months after he died I found out that he died of liver disease… which he got by being an alcoholic. He never showed any signs of alcoholism and he wasn’t abusive or mean or neglectful. He was a smart guy and funny and nice and thats what I like to remember about him and that brings up my mood. Also I had to go to therapy (I still do) and that helps cause I get to talk about things with my therapist that I miss about him. Me and my brother and two sisters dont talk much about him because it makes us sad, but I know that we all think about him and the memories make us happy.

More Like This
Advisor

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

2 Dads with Baggage

Family Travel, LGBT Travel, Parenting Blog

Advisor

2 Dads with Baggage

LGBT family travel blog, Parenting blog, Travel blog

Advisor

doreendental.com.au

Dentistry, Family Dentistry, Dental Clinic

Advisor

Gab Social

Philanthropy, Healthcare, Management

Advisor

Ralph Hackett

Industry Boards, Charitable Organizations