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Is there anyway to cope with the loss of my Dad?

Well, My dad died oct 1.st and me and him were bestfriends. I hide all of my feelings inside and its making me so DEPRESSED! I miss him more then words can explain. He was my Dad, and I was his little girl…Know when I see other familys with there dad it makes me think of what I could have done differnt? Do you think my dad is still watching over me? Do you think I made him pround? GOD…this isnt fair…sorry I needed away to express my feelings…Now that my dads gone it feels like I have nothing…:’(

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Answer #1

My heart truely goes out to you sweet girl, and this too shall pass. You have joined a club that you did not ask to be a part of, and from the words of the ever confused yet just this once intelligent George from Grey’s anatomy once said ,” I don’t now how to live in a world that my father does not exist”, probably says it all about how you feel right now.

My dad died last year, and I felt comfort in knowing I had shared my thoughts with him. This man, that taught me about business, how to drive, how to dance, how to give, how to laugh, and how to love. This man that loved life and loved experiencing everything he could, this great man, my daddy. Everyone had advice, and everyone has a timeline that they expect for you to “be better” by. Well, they haven’t lost a parent then, or they were not that close with their parents. There isn’t a timeline, or words of advice that can make it better. Only time can heal this wound.

Since my father died my path has crossed others, by mere fate, that have lost their parents, and it is comforting in knowing someone can truely relate to your pain, and the residual of failing to “get over it”, this is when you find your true friends in life, and possibly true compassion. I always prided myself on being compassionate, until my father died, then I realized how I could have done it differently, and that my pre-dad’s death compassion was so dreastically different than post dad’s death. But I had to find the gift. I had an amazing role model and mentor, and that his time on earth although not long enough for me, was done. He completed all he was here to do, and he lives on in our memories, through me, my children, as well as I do believe that our energy certainly continues on to where we can do even greater works than here on earth.

In essence, It takes time, you will always miss him, the anniversaries are hard (first Christmas without him, Easter, etc..). I am still finding letters, notes, cards, and postcards I have saved over the years, and I still cry, I feel like I could pick up the phone and call him, and then I remember, I can’t. But more than that I wish with all of my being that I could hug him one last time.

Two more things before I go, find a person to talk to . I was fortunate I had my kids around. They ceratinly gave me perspective on the days my optomism was shoved aside and all I wanted to do was curl up on the floor. I have many days as most moms do that I am burdened with guilt about how I am not the perfect supermom (my kids get a lot of attention, activities, I volunteer and coach everything, and many other things that my parents generation did not do), but I still feel like I am not a good enough mom, and during my time of need they certainly stepped up and for a 5 and 7 year old they spoke words of true wisdom, and of Grandpa’s walk in heaven, life is special and everything dies, but that is life, good stuff happens right along with the bad stuff. So when I hear them speak with such conviction I know I guess I wasn;t that bad of a mom. And on their riley days when they really do consider me “mean mommy”, I as a parent have already forgiven them for anything they have said, will say, and I will always be pround of my children. Parents can’t help it, even if they do not say it or act like it. That is a communication break down. He loved you, forgave you, and IS proud of you.

Your view of the world is probably through a small window in front of you with a hazy frame around what you see. The small square you see through only has colorless images in it, and it probably feels like you will never feel joy or see color again, and I am here to tell you that your dark world will have color once again.

I know it was a bit lengthy, and I hope this helps b/c you are truely in a lonely place my friend, and please let people in to help. We s women tend to take the burdon of the world on our shoulders, you do not need to. Much Love, SandIB

Answer #2

dont hide your feelings about him or what happended talk to somebody about it you need to let go of what your feeling, and accept and understand the fact that your dad is dead and you shouldn’t cling on to him,that you need to move on with your life, as soon as you do that you should start feeling better

Answer #3

Oh my goodness I’m sooo srry about your Dad!If you were that close to your dad and even if you werent in am positive that he is watching over you makeing sure you are alright and ok.I’m sure that your dad is VERY proud of you! And if you ever get lonley then talk to him when your alone hes not going to respond or anything but he will be listening to you.And thats all the counts because you know he loves you and he knows that you love him and thats the best thing.But if you ever need someone to talk to you can always funmail me!

Answer #4

Paige, what wonderful replies you’ve received… I read them all, and when I got to Sandib73’s I cried my eyes out. I can relate to everything she said. The pain will never go, but it will lessen over time.. and there will be times that are worse than others because something small will remind you.

It’s a terrible thing to deal with especially at your age. I was 28 when my father died and I still feel very cheated. He was 49 and we were one of those very close families. People can also say the DUMBEST things. One of my aunts said “Don’t be sad, you had a wonderful life with your dad…” Well Duhhh, doesn’t that make it even sadder, when you lose a parent that you love so much? I became very bitter that year, resentful of smiling faces… feeling very alone, and you know, so many people around me would NOT let me talk about him, would NOT let me get upset… and why? all to protect themselves from getting upset, or having to think about how they would feel if/when it happens to them.

Be aware of one more thing, Paige. Nothing will ever be the same again. Cherish your memories. Talk about him as much as possible. And one day you will look back and see that this was the time when you evolved from a child to an adult.

Take care of yourself and I hope you have wonderful dreams about your father. I still do. and I am convinced that at those times, he is really here.

Answer #5

I know exactly what you are going through I lost my dad august 12, 2004 and I to was his lil girl. what I did was I kept him alive in me for the most part and cried and cried for months at a time when it happened I then found out talking to people kind of help but the thing I found to help me the most was writting poems well first the where poems and I know its more of a letter to my dad and every week I write 7 one for each day then I go and bring them to his grave site and read ever one of them to him after I read them I then bring them home and put them in a box with poems and pictures of me and my dad I hope this could help you too. Stay strong your dad will always be watching overe you no matter what happens he will be proud your his lil girl.

Answer #6

Im so sorry about your loss, I know how it is to lose a loved one. I’m very sure that you made him proud, and I know he is still watching over you, knowing that you made him proud and will continue to make him proud. Of course you have things to live for still… friends, family, love, experiences! There is much out there left for you to do, and I know your Dad would like to continue seeing you grow and living your life happily. Just think of all the good times you two had together, and hold onto thoose special memories, until someday new ones will be made with more loved ones of yours. Good Luck and I hope you feel better. I know how it is wanting to get out your feelings that are trapped inside, I have that a lot myself, but we just need to learn how to get them out someway, but, in a good way… so feel better soon. <3

Answer #7

Your not the only one who lost your dad, I lost my dad last year I know exacty what your talking about. but what makes me feel better is that I bet he is watching over me. what makes me feel better is showing my respect by going to him. my dad was a trucker he was 42 years old. I love my dad and what he did. I wish he was around but you know he cant. hes gone I dont know what to say but you cant let your self down. but all I have to say is dont let your self get all torn up about it you got to be strong and dont let anything get in your way. his stranght is your stranght now. so use it. you can do it make him proud.

Answer #8

I am sorry bout your dad I know what you are going through I lost my dad it was a year in oct actually so I know what you are going through so if you need to talk or anything im here…

Answer #9

Yes, your dad is still watching over you and you’ve made him VERY proud. There’s no doubt about it.

As for a way to cope? Talk to some one. A friend, family member, or some one else you trust.

Answer #10

Your daddy is still around, he just left his body and is around in spirit. He is prouder of you more than you will ever know! You are his little girl and he loves you more than anything. Everything happens for a reason. Our life on earth is short, and your dad would want you to go out and live life to its fullest. You being sad makes him sad. I know you miss him, but you guys will be together again. For now focus on all the good times you’ve had, and remember that he would want you to go out and share your talents with the world. He wants the best for you!

Answer #11

Hi Hun, I know you feel like your world is crashing around you, but it will get better. My dad died when I was sixteen. I was lost without him. Just remember it’s ok to sad, mad, and happy all at the same time. It’s easy to feel the need to hide and bottle up your feelings. But thats the worst thing you can do. In order to get past this time you must fine something that makes you happy on your own. I still miss my dad, but I know he is watching over me. Your dad is proud of you! I’m sure he is watching over you!
Have Faith & Take Care Mel

Answer #12

I’m so very sorry ! I know what you are feeling I lost my dad a year ago. and I’m not going to lie to you the pain never goes away. a lot of people will tell you that its goin to be ok. But when someone told me that I wanted to tell them to just shut up!! because its never going to be “ok” I changed a lot from when my dad died and im sure you will too. I really want to tell you everyhing will be ok but I cant. I can tell you tho that you did make your dad very proud and he will always be watching over you ! If you needa talk mesg me because I know exactly what you are feeling right now.

Answer #13

I’m sorry about the loss of your dad. I hope you can find help with this.

Is there anyway to cope with the loss of my Dad?

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