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How am I supposed to react?

like I have stated in a couple of my other questions, I have left a very abusive relationship. infact.. I found out a couple of weeks ago that week after week, I was closer to death than before. When I moved out and back home with my family, I was at my lowest point emotionally. I now live with mom and dad and 2 sisters, 14 and 20. I never got therapy for what my ex put me throught. something like that is not covered by the canadian health card and I cannot afford it so I am dealing with this the best way I can… alone. I am going through post traumatic stress disorder… and nobody gets it. anyways, my older sister comes up to me a couple of days ago and starts wringing me out because of my attitude and behavior sucks. She said that it seems like I am just always angry, that I am mad at the world… and I have no right. she says that I need to get over it! I WANT to! you have no idea how bad. But I can’t just snap my finger and make it so. I walked out of the room because I got so upset. thinking about it, I am furious at what she said. do I have the right to feel that way?

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Answer #1

maybe your dealing with it the best way you know how, but maybe that’s not the best way. I am by no means trying to belittle or make lite of what happened to you but you really might want to try not dwelling on it. The only way to put a traumatic experience behind you is to actually move forward. by move forward I mean first focus on the good things that came from the bad situation. You are alive, you learned signs and behavior to look out for in people that you date in the future, you have gained some valuable insight to share with other women who have or are currently going through what you did, I’m sure there are more. Second, get out and do something!! if what happened to you is all you can think about than embrace it, do not let it embrace you. Find a church that will let you use their basement or fellowship hall on certain nights of the week and start a group. Start a place that both women and men that have been victims of abuse or other traumatic experiences can come for constructive conversation and support. I always kinda liked Canada but they definitely don’t score any points for not offering any sort of mental health care to the masses. I cant be on here all the time but if you need to talk to someone who will at least try to understand you can fun mail me anytime, I hope this helps you at all. And by the way, your sis is probably just frustrated and misses the old you and wishes she could make you better but she cant. Remember, You want patience and understanding from people but you also need to be patient and understanding of their feelings and worries. I know that you feel alone but your not the only person in the world. If you constantly have a poor attitude towards those around you they will eventually return it. Hope your doing ok TTYL

Answer #2

As a multiple abuse survivor, I understand exactly where you’re coming from. Since I live in the US, I don’t know the Canadian medical system, but please go to a regular doctor that you trust, and ask him/her how to go about getting mental health assistance. There must be a way because I’m sure Canada’s streets are not overflowing with people needing psychological help. You might also try contacting the Brain Injury Association. I realize that’s not what you have, but they are caring, helpful people, and they might have an idea of a way for you to get counseling. Perhaps if you handed the members of your family some printouts (either from the web or from the Brain Injury Assoc) on PTSD, and sat down to discuss how you feel with them, they might not be so rough on you. It will take time for them to come to grips with your condition, however.

Answer #3

You are right and she is just being impatient and immature.

I got out of a 9 year abusive relationship. I healed from it without doctors or medications. I journaled. You HAVE to let yourself feel the emotions to deal with them and get them out. You wont ever heal and move on until you deal with them. Dont repress them.

You will get past this and move on with life but it WILL take time. Good luck! Email me if you would like. preemiebabyboy4@hotmail.com

My name is Mary Jo.

Answer #4

Your right from what you’ve said. She should be patient and supportive. On the other hand you are having problems and thats effecting those your close to. You may get a pet like a cat or dog to help yourself recover and learn to love or trust again, other things you might try are painting or writing poems. Anything that will help you release your feelings in a creative or constructive way. Sorry for your situation and I hope you get better.

Answer #5

Yes, you do have that right to feel that way, you have the right do do anything you want!

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