Funadvice Logo
Post
More Art, Writing & Literature Questions

What is some feedback on my poem?

So im trying to publish a book of poems so wanted to get feedback on some so let me know what you think

Darkest lust I walk in shadows darker Than the mere absence of light I exist in a world of phantoms Defined in shades of black and white

My soul is tainted by evil My mind is touched by madness Depression drags me ever down And love just brings me sadness

The world of say doth shun me The sunlight doth betray It reveals all of my secrets With its blinding cunning rays

I am a daughter of mordor A child of aridhol I accepted lucifers summons And answered satans calls

Power is what I seek The power to rule all If I must go downward still Im ready for the fall

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

Well I liked it. Only line that I thought didn’t go too smoothly was: ‘Depression drags me ever down’

That line doesn’t sound too good when you actually say it outloud, but other then that, I really liked it. ;)

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Silverhints

Poetry, Shayari, Ghazal