5 years and still dreaming


This is going to be a quite long story, but I hope someone have the patience to read it through. I´ll try to make it as interesting I can for you to read. You can think it like a book, because I think one day I´m going to write it all on paper. I decided to make this sequal. So every day from now on I´ll write a part of it :)

Everything started in a online game called Runescape at December 2003. I was still a young kid doing studies in highschool. To be exact I was 18´. Call me desperate or whatever, but that day in Runescape I decited to get to know someone who could be more than just a friend. And then it happened. I saw this one girl wanting to buy sapphires, emeralds, rubys and diamonds. Somehow I felt something, but I just sold them to her with a decent price and then went for another way. And even when I didn´t know her at all I started to feel a yern to talk her again.

So few minutes later I see her again, but now in a different place giving christmas presents to all people and immediately I noticed she is very nice from her character. Something I like to do sometimes too. So it clicked to me and I picked up some courage to take the first step and ask her age. She said she is 18 years and I went like whoa! Nice, same age!

I told her how I wished I could find someone near own age girl here and that she was the first one I asked that question. Maybe a faith? Because first one? And because met again so fast? Anyway, moving on… She was with me all the way and wanted to know me better too. So off we go to a mining quild lol :D

Just to keep you on time: specific meaning for a lol = laughing out loud

At the very same day we swapped our Msn addresses and started our journey :) . First days were the best ones I ever had in my life, I was top of the hill, feeling so good. But then a day occur. She was felling for me and I was felling so much for her too, but she had a tiny secret she had to share with me…

                                        ...Continues tomorrow
Answer #1

You know. I´m just going to ruin this story by just jumping to the present moment of our lives. And I already spoke out the most important episodes of the story. The rest is just braking up and getting back together, for 5 years. Just different reasons.

We were happy and in love again when I started to write this story. But just now, like thuesday until today, something happened. “My” girl met someone who she felt attraction to. It was not lust. It was not like she would have wanted to jump bed with him right away. It was breathtaking and she felt hot from his body around him.

But It´s getting more wierd. I also met someone in my country with whom I felt exactly the same than she did with him. And while we felt it we couldn´t feel for each other the same love. Like the love could have not been shared you know.

A little more background about this all. She met HIM at this bar and they had fun together. “His voice is gentle and his nose is sharp”, she says. So she likes this person.
In my case, I met HER at my work yesterday (Wednesday). From the first moment I saw her she also took away my breath. Even though the moment I saw her last like 20 seconds I already left missing her, like she (“my” girl) also did. Later I helped her to move some heavy machine to their company´s truck. We hardly changed a word, but still had a few, just a little bit shy, eye contacts.

So now, as consequences, we don´t feel loving again. I can speak for her too because I know she don´t feel it either and because she also said she would like to go have sex with him. Anyway, it doesn´t bother me at all if she goes.

Hmm… Just wondering what´s going on again? >.<

Answer #2

It was a night. It was a hotel. It was a guy and it was “my” girl. It was sex. Again, she didn´t hide it from me, but told it to my face. I know. It was her way to try to brake up this whole thing, our journey… I really didn´t think she could do something like that to me. But it was nothing but reasonable. She couldn´t take it and it was very hard for me too. I´m talking about our distance between her and me, 8000km. Who could love each other over 2-3 years knowing for sure that they won´t see each other in “Real” before that?

I was middle of the school and there was no way I could provide my darling and her kids. Think about it. I´m 18. She is 36 with 2 cihldren. I mean think about it. It makes no sense. Right? And we both thought at the same way. Hearts spoke whole different. They told: “We love” … But now… Mine got a huge impact to it, a hell of a big piercing whole. A worst heartache and sorrow together with hate and unbelieve… I didn´t want to believe this happened. This did not happen… Right? Right??? … It did. Everything was true. I was beaten and torn up. I didn´t care about anything. Not anything. Depressed to the worst.

As it was late January it was very cold in Finland. It suited for me. I left home. Took my skateboard to have a good reason to my mom to go outside. Took a bottle of strong liquor also. Went to this place where I used skate. Sat down and started to drink while texting to her. It was very cold. I told her I can´t take it. She didn´t take it serious. She thought I was just kidding. It was getting colder… I was freezing…

…Continues tomorrow

Answer #3

I coudln´t bear her surprises. Now… everything were getting even more intimate. And I had nothing against that! She opened her life´s curtain she won´t do to many people. She told me she´s been married with someone before. That´s ok to me. She even explained it was a arranged marriage so she couldn´t help it. I thought that was it, but no. She went on… She has 2 children from that marriage. 5 and 10 years old sons. I shut down my heart, “fall” in deep tearfull abyss and leave from my computer, leave from the light of my life… Questions run through my head again. Feels so much pain. I can not think. I just can not think…

Why can not I forget her? Why I feel like this? How is this all possible? Why this happened? It´s too much for me. I´m very sensitive from my heart and I like to think much. I couldn´t take it… But yet again, I couldn´t leave it… Leave her… So I had no choice, but to follow my heart. Thinking this sensible way made my heart stiff and cold. It was horrible… Most terrible feeling I have ever had. Feeling this with only my heart was heavenly. I rather choice heart than be stiff cold sensible.

Altough I told my mom about her, I couldn´t tell her the whole truth because I knew it would be the end. She wouldn´t understand… I didn´t tell her about her real age or that she has 2 children. I just told her how much I love this girl… I didn´t even tell my best friend. It was mine and her´s tiny secret from the world. :) And now, here I´m bringing it up to public. Because I need your help, advice worth of love…

The story goes on. Feelings between me and her grew to sky high, but my stupid mind keeps on distracting me. Telling it´s not right. I´m Lutheran, but at that time I wasn´t so religious. I hardly went church. Those few times I went was with my class in my school. On the contrary, she wasn´t so religious, but now she started to go church and pray help for us. One day I tried to do the same in my country, but… I couldn´t go inside, I didn´t dare… Maybe I was scared. Scared to tell it to noone. Secret… Too big secret…

My mind started to take control. It said this is way wrong. It was only like a month from the moment she made her second revealing. Everything started to shatter and it was all blaim to my so so reasonable head… We had a fight. First real fight we ever had (Through only net ofcourse because we never met in real, not even yet, 2008). And I guess we decited to brake up (I´m still not sure, everything was so mess). I really thought I had gone through the worst of the worst already. But no… Something happened. Something I still can´t forget… Something I can never forget…

…Continues tomorrow

Answer #4

OH ok… what happened to the continuation for Aug. 17… like you ran away from home… what happened ect. I want to know :P Love the quote “Its not where you end up, its how you got their” something like that… so make the Journey detailed… more suspenceful that way:D

Answer #5

Like a lighting from the sky it hit me. She told me she is not 18, but 36 years old. My world went into million pieces by that single line she wrote to me. I stared it and fall all in tears. The picture she had in Msn profile looked so young (It was really her present picture).

So at the same time while wipeing off the never ending running tears from my eyes and cheeks I tried to find a reason why she told me she is 18`… Her explanation was simple. She didn´t want to expose her real age in Runescape. And after I had a thought about it. It makes all sense. I think I wouldn´t like to tell my real age either if I was around 40´s and playing Runescape. I had a decicion ahead I had to make, I didn´t want it, but it wouldn´t go away either. At the time… I coudn´t give her an answer right away. She wanted to go on, but I was beaten and hurt from my feelings…I needed time… I had never felt feelings like that to anyone like I did those times with her. She was my world. I…I couldn´t let her go…I knew if I would have let her go I would have done a mistake I would have regret later. So despite the gap of age we went on with our journey. The love didn´t disappear in any direction. Instead it got stronger by her confession to me. A feeling caught me. I knew she wanted me for real. Time went by and we had a blast together. New year went and somepoint in january my girl made a second revealing… It also came out of nowhere and struck me so bad again. I were so shocked I wasn´t sure I could go on again… …Continues tomorrow — By the way. If someone feels commenting in any point, will be glad to answer or see what you think about the story of my life. ^.^ I don´t know yet how many sequals there is going to be yet lol, but it´s from 5 years timeline… So erm. Many :P

Answer #6

cool… sad thought… It doesn’t bother me, but FYI you are getting worse at your grammer, sentence structure, and puntuation… but good otherwise. :D

Answer #7

Hehe. Thank you. I´m glad someone likes it. 5 years ago I kept having very bad grades from my english esseys. Didn´t even past most of them. Only one I can thank for improving it is this girl… Yes this is entirely true story without hiding any of the facts. :)

Answer #8

Im loving it so far! Very intriging. Suspenseful. Is it true? or just a made up story? Either way pls keep going…can’t wait for tomarrow:P

Answer #9

I can not go on the story. Atleast not today, because we are not alright at the moment.

Answer #10

Just this thing that happened to both of us. Feeling for someone else like we did.

Answer #11

What you mean by “just wondering what’s going on again” ?

Answer #12

xD Thanks. I have to try and improve it. >.<

Answer #13

:O D: :D :) :P :$ :( Read you tomarrow!

Answer #14

OOh im intrigued… can’t wait to hear more… :P Hope it turns out good :D

Answer #15

sounds like your lucky, good luck

Answer #16

awsome! like I said. Can’t wait for tomarrow:P

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