Is 11 years an inappropriate age gap for a relationship?

A 20 year old girl with a 31 year old guy…. with 3 kids? Is that too much? Why do people tend to look down on that when they’re both adults? Just curious..

Answer #1

to me age is just a statement..between my mom and my dad theirs 14 yrs of age difference lol.. i been curious myself they still look down .. its kind of to much a grl is like 13 and the guy is 24 but when there 20 and hes 31 to be honest to me its not a big deal nor a big difference..if there n love it doesn’t matter if theres 15y rs difference..

Answer #2

Eleven years age difference is a large age gap, but if two persons are compatible and have a mutual understanding, then I think it should not be an issue….Do bare in mind, a guy with 3 kids is going to have different goals and lifestyles to that of a 20 years old. He would be more settled and happy to ‘stay home” more often. He would have more responsibilities, more mouths too feed….A girl who is 20 is in her prime and would want to be more socialable and hang out in public with her friends and her partner… A 31 years old should already have a place of their own, either renting or owning a home, whilst a 20 years old is just starting to find her feet and deciding what career path, which suburb to live in, which car to get….Personally, for myself, I couldn’t be with a guy who was 5 years older then me, let alone a single dad. Call me selfish, but I much rather date a guy without kids, relationships are hard as it is, without other people’s kids and the kid’s mother in the equation.

Answer #3

Age gap is not an issue in any relationship as far as two individuals involved understand each other well.Still, i feel anything around 7 years will be perfect. Guy little older than girl is always better

Answer #4

Couldn’t have said that better.. My friend doesn’t understand lol.. I’m showing her this.. Thanks Sammie!!

Answer #5

yes as long as they dont get sexual

Answer #6

Wait, what?! Lol

Answer #7

My husband and I are 13 years apart in age and we have been together for 21 years and are extremely happy. As long as both people are adults, than in my opinion its all good. Age is not a factor in true love.

Answer #8

my parents were 11 years apart, and they got married, age doesnt matter. My parents lasted 15 years (: and had 3 kids, it’ll work out if yoous love eachother enough .. x

Answer #9

Love is blind when it comes to age. 11 years gap is not a big gap as I’ve seen women married to much older men who are as old as their father.

Answer #10

I would have to say it depends on the ages going into the relationship, and the complete situation. I believe the older the couple are the better the chances of having it last. At 20 and 31, you are quite young and he has a lot of responsibility with 3 children. If he has a good paying stable job, that takes a lot of stress out of the equation. If he has custody of the kids that is a lot of responsibility for you.

I am 11 yeas older than my wife of 25 years. Both of us were married before to people close to our own age and were very bad experiences. We had a lot of important things in common like, we preferred to pay cash rather than credit, when possible. We both were avid gardeners, she did flowers and I did vegetables. We both loved to dance. Each of us had one child and wanted no more. Whe had a combined goal to save money a purchase a house as soon as possible (because you have to pay rent somewhere). What I lacked in my abilities she excelled in and visa versa. For us it worked. It wasnt easy at times as any relationship is challenging and it takes two to make it work. I was 36 and she was 25 when we met. As a live in situation I would say give it a try. If you are planning an immediate marriage I would give it some very serious thought because marriage is easy to get into and very expensive and emotionally devastating to get out of .

Answer #11

my boyfriend is 24 iam 17 and it has been 2 years and half we are together and i feel iam the luckiest and we will get married when i turned 18 some times the both genders have the same age but they cant understand eachother and simply cant get along it depends on how both will act… we all grow older but not wiser you can be 30 but act like a teenager … unlike that some times teenagers puzzle me with their speeches and actions.

Answer #12


Answer #13

Lemme get this straight. At the age of 21 your boyfriend decided it would be appropriate to date a girl of 14 and a half? Uhuh.

Answer #14

Lol. Lyndsay if they’re legal, consenting adults then it’s fine. Read the question.

Answer #15

The standard rule of creepiness is don’t date below your age divided by two, add seven. So say you’re 18, you shouldn’t date anyone under 16, ‘cause it’s weird. And if you’re 40, don’t date below 27. See what I mean? It’s just a guideline, but mostly it’s accurate. So in terms of this relationship.. the guy shouldn’t date below age 23 ish. But 2 years difference from that seems alright to me since if you think about it in a couple of years this will work out anyway. If they’re good together and can both handle a relationship like this then yeah s’fineeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

Answer #16

i don’t think it would be easy or happy for you to get along with the three kids

Answer #17

i think id go with a 20 year max up till she packed me me in when i turned 75

Answer #18

yeah .so what happened? in my community that is okay =) we didnt have any problem…since the day we met he had never done anything to make me upset…he was 21 okay better i was a teenager he taught me lots of things and taught me to act like a mature my life turned out to be gold after i met him. we didnt do anything wrong…we both have the same goal and we are trying to achieve it…we are not just spending time together!

Answer #19

just so you know we didnt date or stuff like you guys do =) it was a long distance relationship we met only twice in a year! if its not real love who can wait for a teenager to be an adult then marry her??

Answer #20

i think thats a reasonable age difference. if it was like 18 and a 30 year old or something that would just be rather odd

Answer #21


Answer #22

Maybe not when your in your teens, it might seem weird; but my parents are 11 years apart, and they’ve been married happily for 26 years(:

Answer #23

I think if they are both of legal age that it shouldn’t matter. As people say “age is only a number.”

Answer #24

No, not at all. I was 11 years older than my wife. I never saw an age difference. It all boils down to maturity and responsibility. If both have it they will have a great relationship.

Answer #25

Samantha, good thoughts. But what if you met a guy who was 30 years your senior. He was the right man in all ways, personality, responsibility, compatibility, same goals and same desires? I have thought of that in reverse, a woman 30 years my junior. It would be a big decision on both are parts.

I had a 30 year marriage, and by all standards was a great marriage. She was 11 years younger. I saw no difference in age.

It all boils down to what one is willing to do what the other likes doing. We had that. We were willing to do what the other liked. There were things i didn’t like but was willing to do it, because I wanted to create the relationship, and she as well.

Answer #26

age is nothing but a number, you cant change your attraction and feelings towards somebody because of a number

Answer #27

There is a certain rule when it comes to relationships that I learned from a great man named Barney Stintson. Age gap for relationships is determined by half your age plus 7, before that and there is a problem. Example 26/2=13+7=20 which is appropriate, 19 is not.

Answer #28

i don’t think that it really matters about age

More Like This

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

Imago UK Relationship Therapy

Therapy Services, Counseling Services, Relationship Therapy


Principle Skills Relationship...

Counseling Services, Therapy Services, Relationship Workshops


Miss Date Doctor® - Relations...

Mental Health Services, Relationship Coaching, Couples Therapy


Be a Blushing Bride

Wedding Services, Online Dating, International Relationships