Why is it wrong to live together before marriage? or is it?

Interesting stuff guys… @ eternallife can you point me to the part of the bible where this is talked about as being a sin. I mean it’s not one of the commandments and the only one close would be Adultery, but living together does not automatically mean adultery no matter what outsiders will think.
@91jchevy actually in my case its almost like living together would be the reason for getting married because of the long distance nature of the relationship. Which I think is not a good reason at all to get married. The distance is hurting us, but closing the distance is an even bigger obstacle.

@leannne yea I actually thought about kicking my current roommate out and she could just have that room, prob wouldn’t be used much though lol j/k We are actually deciding to remain abstinate until after we’re married…

So after all the appreciated comments I think that if a couple has chosen to abstain from sex until they are married, I don’t see the issue with two grown adults living together. I mean, if it were two friends 1 male one female is that any different just because they aren’t a couple?
Yea you can say temptation plays a role, but temptation will play a role if the couple lives together, 2 blocks, or 2 states away. In the end the decision is on the couple and what they feel is best for them…

* But if you want to know the truth on this issue I.e if this is right or wrong in God’s sight then IT IS A SIN TO LIVE LIKE THAT.

Doesn’t that depend on whether or not there are any gods, and whether or not they obsess over human sexuality? Just because you believe a god wrote some ancient book that prohibits eating pork and shellfish and regulates how to deal with mold and teaches that some dude walked on water and pulled gold out of a fish’s mouth, …don’t make it so. We don’t have to turn our brains off when we discuss these things.

She might secretly fear that living together would get the two of you used to each other in a way that makes the both of you feel like you have to get married, that no one else is out there for you. Living together before marraige isn’t the greatest idea because of this, and within 10 years the marraige is usually over when this is done.

As far as the stats part I majored in psychology and I know all about how the tests are done and there are a lot of 3rd party factors that aren’t being considered… its like how the study that compares crime rates and ice cream sales going up at the same time, the 3rd party being the heat index at the time… In many of the studies I’ve seen on this topic most couples are either testing it out, which means they’re not sure in the first place, or they are playing house for financial reasons, which becomes more of a convenience… I wouldn’t put myself in those cases… My main issue is closing the distance in the relationship. Out of the year we’ve been together I’d say we’ve actually been in person maybe 7 or 8 weeks (that’s if I over estimate)
So yea I’m pretty much to the point either close this distance or end the relationship, because we’re not moving forward at all…

That is called fornication.

NO…IT…ISN’T…

I’ve told you this a dozen times, idiot. Fornication = having sex with a prostitute. This definition is agreed upon in Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek and Latin (language formats of the Bible that long pre-date the English version). The ENGLISH definition is the ONLY one that differs. And since the Bible wasn’t originally WRITTEN in English, the English definition DOES NOT apply.

Stop spreading lies… its pathetic…

Who ever said the bible is god’s word? Jeez.

Anyway, live together if you can. I know the feeling as I am also in a long distance (26 hours!) relationship - it sucks! And if your relationship is serious, it is definitely a great way to get to know each other in a more intimate way and start working together as a partnership running a house.

Nobody said sex is necessary just because you live together. You can have seperate bedrooms, not go past a certain stage, enjoy other sexually gratifying acts etc. There are many options.

Eventually the decisions you two make are your own - not her mom’s, not the bible’s, and not the sky bully’s. You guys will have to live with it!

If she doesn’t want to, respect that. There is some statictic that suggests that only 1 in 6 people have a marriage that lasts more than 3 years if they have lived together before marriage. I don’t necessarily think that is true, but maybe she is scared you’ll be different when you live together. A close friend just moved back from a year of living with her boyfriend, they have had a baby and are now fighting over finances, they aren’t even married! That is the type of thing that will break people apart for no good reason. Come to a compromise, just don’t think of it as needing to, rather than wanting to.

Statistics show that people who live together have higher divorce rates. True. However, there is nothing that shows the living together first CAUSES higher divorce rates. I love when people who have absolutely no idea what causality means throw around statistics. It’s always highly entertaining when they draw conclusions based on well nothing really. Perhaps the reason behind people living together having higher divorce rates is because the people who live together tend to be less conservative and thus are more likely to believe in divorce? And thus it is how conservative the person is that mediates the divorce rate and not the living together?

You’re already having sex. I’m pretty sure living together isnt in any religious text (mostly because well most were written a long long time ago and that was simply not done), and it’s mostly about the sex. And well how other people will see you.

Well most people here gave you their opinion about weather it is right or wrong to live together or have sex before marriage. If you just wanted peoples opinion on weather this is right or wrong the you have got what you wanted. But if you want to know the truth on this issue I.e if this is right or wrong in God’s sight then IT IS A SIN TO LIVE LIKE THAT. This is according to God’s word the Bible.

Thanks for all the advice guys…

The reason I’m asking from a religious standpoint is because I believe this is the main reason for us not living together. Also her mom doesn’t want her to until she’s married also. I respect any decision she makes, but I just feel that if the issue of sex is the main reason for this then what difference does it make.
I guess my question should be if we decided to abstain all together would living together still be an issue? So basically is it considered wrong because of the sex issue, or is it just wrong period if you’re not married.

P.S. Also, how is it automatically okay if you’ve been married before? It’s like since this is the first time it’s wrong, but if you’re now divorced it’s all of a sudden okay now… makes no sense, Wrong is wrong in all cases…

* Satistics have shown that people who live together before marriage often get divorced.

Statistics also show that 0% of cohabitations end in divorce.

Look, let’s not pretend that cohabitation has nothing to do with sexual commitment, of course it does. You and your girlfriend have to decide whether you are going to allow your lives to be ruled by ancient superstition, or whether you are going to embrace the freedom you really do have to choose what you think is best. Why should the two of you allow others to dictate to you how to exercise the most personal aspects of your lives? They made their choice, you make yours.

Many people here in Europe live together without getting married, and it works perfectly well. In some cases, it works even better than a legal marriage. As toadaly said, marriage is overrated and divorce is costly. Better to know as much as possible about someone before taking vows, and the only way to do that is to live with him/her for an extended period of time.

Satistics have shown that people who live together before marriage often get divorced. I think it should be something look forward too. Good things happen to those who wait.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. You did ask this in a religious forum though. Most religions take a dim view of pre-marital sex and cohabitation. To me that is more of a reason not to be religious than not to cohabitate.

Its sounds totally contradictory for you to be okay with having sex before marriage, but think its wrong to live together.

NEITHER are bad

Live together first… it will help you see what it will be like once you are married. Is it for religious reasons that she doesn’t want to?

My wife and I lived together for 7 years before we got married. I suspect she wants a firm commitment before upending her life to be with you.

Work on it and see what happens.

There’s nothing wrong with it. Marriage is overrated.