Is it cheating? Did I honor myself and my marriage?

OK here is the thing… I have been married almost 4 years but with my husband almost 7. recently I was in contact with an ex boyfreind from 17 - 18 years ago. We talked about old times, our kids our lives, where we had gone, old freinds… Days later the conversation starting turning different and he wanted to meet. I did soul serching and even though my husband has cheated on me while we where living together not really married at the time) I didnt want to be in teh wrong… so I just made up excuses with my ex to not return phone calls or emails… Well my husband logged in and searched old email and found the letters. NOw he says I was cheating…. Distroyed our relation ship…. I f’d up… I talked to my ex out of curiosity… I didnt meet with him even though he came to town… My husband feels I just sould have put him in his place but I didnt… I always take the least conflictive approuch… I ignored himm and he douesnt contact me anymore… This all took place in a bad place in my marriag my husband wanted a divorce during this time… and It talstd a total of 13 days… about 6 email messages and a couple of phone calls. Agin the las 7 days when my ex started talking sexual and about wanting to meet I just didnt answer. I feel I was fair to my marriage. I didnt cross the line of sexual talk or meeting him… But my Husband is saying I am a cheater and lier…