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How to deal with Mom issues about living with my boyfriend?

hi.. well, basically, I am 17 (18 in Feb.) and a senior in highschool about to attend college in august (yay!).. I have been dating my boyfriend since freshmen year of highschool.. our plan is to get an apartment together our first year of college.. we have discussed the pros and cons and looked at our options.. we’ve talked about what will happen if it doesnt work out.. how we will pay for it.. what limits on privacy and studying we will have.. from what we expect in our relationship to the type of foods we will buy in the grocery store (since he is vegan). .and obviously, if we manage to make it work through those years, we have talked about getting married AFTER college.. plus all the millions of other things we have had to consider and are still considering.. but we also aren’t building our lives around each other and have our own individual goals and aspirations.. anyway, my mother has a problem with this.. from the lectures she’s given, her problem is purely from religion and her ideas of “morally right”.. (she does love my boyfriend like a son).. she is constantly starting arguments and telling me that I have no morals if I do this.. even though for my entire life I have gotten straight a’s, never been the partying type, basically never get into trouble, and am still a virgin to this day.. I know in the end it’s my decision to make.. although, I understand she means the best for me, my idea of “morally right” is just not the same as her idea..

any way that I can end the constant lecturing and make her understand how much thought I have given this situation?

any advice is appreciated.. Thank you

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Answer #1

slaps forehead

Not another ‘religious’ problem again…

Your mom needs to lighten up. It’s good for people (especially young people) to live together BEFORE getting married. You learn more about each other that way.

Answer #2

well.. to her, living together before marriage (cohabitation) is very immoral.. she’s very religious and I guess you would say traditional?

Answer #3

I have had the same problem as you. I am going to move in with my boyfriend my first year of college and my mom was completely against it at first. SHe has now come to terms that it is my decision and I have done nothign wrong in my life and she knows how independent I am. She now has become more involved and just wanting to know the plans and make sure I will be fine. I think you just need to talk to her about it and let her know that this is what you want to do and she can either support you or not. Most likely she will support you as her daughter and will understand eventually. Just make sure to fill her in on the details so she does not feel like you are hiding anything from her.

Answer #4

Well I would say that if you do not have sex till after marriage then you are keeping God law and not committing a sin…living together is not immoral sex before mairrage to Christians is wrong and a few other religions to. You will be 18years old though and then well the choice is not hers.

Maybe talk to her about keeping you verginity till then she may feel better and also talk to her about how you are soon to be an adult and in control over your own life.

Answer #5

I don’t understand… what morals are you ruining? You don’t have sex. You don’t party. You sound like a very responsible 17 year old, what is your mom complaining about? Tell her you’ve talked about the pros and cons about living together are, even tell her what they are. Give her details. I don’t think it really has anything to do with morals.. I think she’s also being a typical mom who doesn’t want to let go of her kid!

Answer #6

I don’t understand… what morals are you ruining? You don’t have sex. You don’t party. You sound like a very responsible 17 year old, what is your mom complaining about? Tell her you’ve talked about the pros and cons about living together are, even tell her what they are. Give her details. I don’t think it really has anything to do with morals.. I think she’s also being a typical mom who doesn’t want to let go of her kid!

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