My son moved to his fathers when he turned 12...I was heart broken but didnt want him to resent me later so I let him go. He is now soon to be 16 and lives 45min away with his father and has just recently gotten himself girl friend one would think id be happy to see my boy grow up develop into a young man but all I can see at the moment is that im losing him he will never come visit he will be busy with friends and now his girl friend. I remember this age and hands down id rather hang with the boyfriend or friends than parents so why am I so sad and crying like its the end of the world...I dont want to be left behind in the wind and forgotten about I dont like this at all what should I do to cope with this? Anybody
You're feeling sad because you love your son and you don't want him to forget about you. It's completely understandable, too. I remember feeling similarly when my sister moved out to be with her boyfriend (who is now her husband). We were very close at the time and it felt like I was losing a part of me when she left. It takes a while to get used to and to work around. In any case, I'm really sorry that you're hurting so much right now.
I think it's important that you try to spend time with your son (or call him), when you can. Since he has a new girlfriend, let him know that you'd love to meet her sometime. Welcome them with open arms or offer to go there to see them. Let him know that you miss him. Be open with your son. He may be busy sometimes, but like said, you are his mother and he will always love you.
When you can't be with your son, is there anything you can do to keep yourself busy some? I think that crying is important to let those negative feelings out, but I also think that taking care of YOU is important. So, if you can, try to focus some time on making yourself feel a little better. Pamper yourself.
If you ever want to talk, feel free to FunMail me. :)
spending time with him is definitely the way to go about feeling better..but like you had mentioned he might rather spend time with friends an girlfriends...which is normal, just remember he is only 16 years old. thats still very young an his mind is not fully developed yet to understand completely why mom is feeling a bit down..I would say communication is the first step you should take..obviously by judging the circumstances to the message your had posted...your lost an dont know what to do, which means you probably havent told him about this yet. and you certainly should..even if you get at the very least get him on the phone an just have a nice conversation for a little while..break the ice..and see what hes into doing here lately ...like hobbies..maybe a favorite place to eat if mentions something along those lines...after you guys can talk and break ice...you should find that it will be easier to "hang out" more with him..
but on the same note..the feelings you have are quite normal..an I can probably garrenttee they wont go away. just remember to be happy for him, and be there for him when he does come calling for you.
=]
your probally sad because your not spending enough time with him. have a day with him where you two can talk annd bond about all kinds of things. talk fast and talk abuot a lot of different things so you can feel more fullfilled. spend the whole day talking to eachother, no silence. that shuld make you happier. just get to know eachother. you want to give him good advice and help him learn things to be a good person, but maybe your not as smart or as good as you want to be. but you have to learn and do what you got to do to be happy. tell him all kinds of things like you dont want him to foget abuot you, that you still want to spend time together, and when you do talk a lot. he might not want to be your friend when you want to be his, if thats true, you can try to do things to make him like you, but respect his discision. hes not your property, he'll do what he wants. find some friends that you can talk to and grow with to make your happy.
Thank you everybody for your advice and opinions...they have been comforting 2 me...I do my best when talking to my son not 2 push him away with my overwhelming sense of loss and worries about everything he does, but im certain bc of my up bringing as a child its going to make it extremly hard for me to deal with and then some! I have no idea what it would feel like to be loved by your parents My mother gave me up at 3yrs I was than adopted but given up at the age of 8 and moved 22 different times to foster homes group homes...so I find it hard 2 relate and trust my son will always be there its horrible because I can not let my insecurties and fears of what I went through be an issue for us, his life was and is very different from mine, does anybody understand where im comming from? and if any body has more words of wisdom for me please share.
Take the initiative and go out and spend some time with him. Its alright to feel like that, just be happy for him :)
Sure he might be busy with his own things but after all your his mother and he loves you. He won't turn down the idea of spending quality time with his own mom! I know I wouldn't!
I can see why you feel like that ** I remember this age and hands down id rather hang with the boyfriend or friends than parents** your afraid he might do the same with you don't you? Try your best to spend time with him. Don't just constantly harass him though try to ask him whenever he has time to spend to spend it with you. I'm sure judging by the circumstances he won't turn you down :) just have some positive thinking on your side and remember be happy for him
