When will husband leave he's having an affair I'm fighting for him?

I hate all you dumb women who believe what a married man tells you. If he wanted out he would be out and would not need you to get there. I am a wife fighting for my husband of 21 years. Been together since we were 18, one child 19yrs old. Who doesn’t live with us. we had it all, paid off house, no kids at home we have the most amazing sex life, very intense. Never fight , best friends. I knew in a week of him doing this. I forced it outta him. It was the worst day of my life we have been on this crazy ride for 9 months now. At first there was all the emotions anger, hurt anger, anger. I thought I couldn’t live with it so I filed for divorce which I thought was the right thing because everyone said it was what to do. He begged me for about a week not to leave him but I was so afraid couldn’t live with this. Then woke one morning knowing I just wanted my soul mate back my best friend. I decided to let him know I would fight for us and thought he would take me right back but no he was now afraid I would leave him one day thinking I made a mistake taking him back. But I said you will see I will fight for us. So I have been for 5 months, he still sees her. Heres the thing we are still sleeping together, he text me goodnite every night with sweet messages, she knows I am fighting for it. But he tells her I’m not home when I am. She has already cought him in lies about me being home just recently. He says he is worried about losing me thats why he keeps coming back 3 nights a week. He is back to telling me he loves me and he was with me xmas eve,xmas and new years. So he risk her to be with me, and yeah she was home when he left her house to come to me, but she doesn’t know that. Their whole relationship is based on lies. I know him so well so I know he is being for the most part honest with me. He says he doesn’t know what happened or why he did it. She came up to him at work one day he said he was married but she didn’t care. He said he was unhappy and was looking for a way out. He has since told me that was bs. So he has his out why is he not out? At first he said I was the one fighting for it not him and now he is admitting to trying. He comes home wed- fri every week. I don’t understand how she doesn’t see whats going on. I want to tell her so bad, but I don’t want to risk him being mad at me and losing him over telling her. I love him so much and we had such a nice life together and still do 3 nights week. I just want my husband back. I know he is going thru something in his mind and I should give him time., but it’s killing me. I know he still loves me and I know she is his ascape from his stress. I warned her he will wake up one day back to his self and realize what he has done and come back and she thinks she will keep him. I know he is working thru issues within himself and I am standing by him, but I am breaking ,stuck in limbo wondering if he really will come home for good. He said he was close to a decision and it’s leaning towards me, about 2 weeks ago, but I’m still waiting and I am so sick all the time over it. I am consumed with . I want to say leave and hope he will miss me enough and then return or tell her truth but all this at such a risk. There is so much more to this. Stuff he tells me and things like texting , or sexting me even from her house. He holds me all night when he is here. I see all the post that say he will never leave his wife and I really in my heart believe he will return to me. I wll not let her have him if he picks her I will be telling her everything thats been going on. I told her early into this about us still being together and he told her he would never do it again. And she believed him. Ha only took a week for him to be back in my bed. I know since she cought him in more lies she is now questioning him more and really stressing him out. Yeah it will be one of those if I don’t have him she won’t have him. If I am broken then she will be too. And even if she takes him back after finding that out she will never trust him and he said she doesn’t trust him now. How funny this happened to her after 22 years of marriage, but she just walked away. So how could she one do this to someone when she went thru it and 2 how could she truly trust him? I am seriously close to putting an end to this mess. I love him but he can’t do this while trying to figure his stuff out. And he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Ugh!!! And she said but he such a good man…to f/n funny, I just can’t face my life with out him. I fall apart with just a thought of it.