How to hold onto this relationship that my parents hate?

I’ve been in a long relationship. For over 2 years now. I am almost 15 and my boyfriend is almost 18. Thats a problem. A problem out of many. Our age differnce of 3 years. But most off al things are changing.

All this times, I have revolved my life around him. After the first year I know automaticly that he was the guy I wanted to marry. Everything about him, even his faults, were carved into my life and everyday I went on with a smile. Now hes about to turn 18..and our relationship will be illigal. But thats not the problem. the problem is im not aloud to date. And it’s becasue of sex. I was raised in a christian house and asbstinance is the key to life in my house. But it’s too late. We already did. We waited more than year. And I dont regret it a bit. I cant tell my parents that..becasue thats no solution trust me. but this struggle with my parents gets harder. The more they try breaking us apart, the more I hold on to him, the more they make things impossibe. Me and my boyfriend mostly only see each toher in church which we go to about 3 times a week. And every now and then when I lie to my parents to see him and do what we cant do in church. My parents have cought us more than once making out. They didnt like it. eeEspecially my dad, who has personal problems against my boyfriend.’s parents too. I think thats why they also dont want us together. My parents first said that we couldnt talk much. They restricted phone times. We use to talk hours then it was only and hour and now they barely let me say hi. Some issue happened with our parents last Saturday and out of the blue my mom comes up to me today and said I cant be with him anymore. of course I wont listen..but things keep getting harder and harder. Hers the big problem, My boyfreind thinks that im on my parents side becasue I listen to them so much. Like when they tell me to get off the phone…I do because I dont want to let it get to a point where my parents might pick up the phone and say something to him. He doesnt see that..and he gets more impatient everyday about us talking. And I understand because our relationshgip seems to go downhill the less we communicte. Just that hurts so much.

The more my boyfriend gets irritated the more I feel like when he comfronts me about it that it’s all my fault. He says that maybe im just not ready for a real relationship…that scares me so much.

I have talked to my parents on how I love him so much and so but they dont listen. I have talked to him how I am trying but it doesnt go through.

nothing is working…

and most of all it all hurts..

can anyone give me advice on what to do? please and thank you

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Answer #1

This sounds like something my friend went thourgh last year. But her relationship did not work out. My advice to you would be to listen to your parents. I know, they might not support you, you might hate them b/c they are making you suffer, but they know what is best for you!!! My parents did not like a guy I was talking to and I never got to be able to be in a relationship with that guy. And I’m really glad that I didn’t. at first I was extremely upset with my parents. I mean why would they want me to be unhappy? But I listened and did what they said. And as time went by I realized he was not for me. Lucky, my parents opened my eyes. And if your boyfriend believes your on your parents side, that just shows that he does not trust you. If he is the ONE for you, he will wait for you and things will work out between ya too. Plus, you are too young. Listen to your parents, they know what is BEST for you. Your boyfriend needs to be understanding and patient. If he really loves you, HE WILL WAIT FOR YOU!!! I hope my advice helps… Good Luck

Answer #2

I feel your pain. I also am limited to how much communication I get with my girlfriend, and her parents hate my guts. you need to jsut be happy. I find that when your cheerfull when you talk, it helps. Tell him how much you love him, and why, at least once a week. Try to make him see that the only reason that you obey your parents as much as you do is because if you don’t, you won’t be able to talk to him at all. OR see him. Ask him which he’d rather have, being with u, and talking to you as much as possible, or overdoing it, and lose it all for another 3 years. Just keep in mind, that as long as you r strong for the both of u, that things will turn out. you have to be strong for each other, show your love as much as you can, and never let go. Just don’t over do it to the point where it creeps him out.

Good luck, and fun mail me if you ever want to talk

Answer #3

I think that if your boyfriend really is the one you r meant to marry that it will happen no matter what your parents say, and if he really loves you then he will understand, and wait for you to turn 18, and untill then maybe you could get phones that your parents dont know about like prepaid phones. thats what I would do. that way you could still talk

Answer #4

Your parents are just afraid that you are growing up too fast. Thats normal. You guys are maybe not ready for what comes along with sex.. Diseases and kids. althought you may think you have a clue as to what the real world is like, you have no idea.It is hard. I have a three year old and I am 21.However if your boyfriend cant respect that you are just honoring your parents rules, then maybe you should let go. He is going to be 18 soon. If you get put out where will you go? He is about to be a legal age. And if you keep taking your parents as a joke, see don’t they get his butt locked straight up for statutory rape. that is sex with a minor. be careful sweetie. don’t put your all into this and get yourself hurt and don’t let this “man” manipulate you into anything.

Answer #5

Thank you for your answers..They really make me think.

I sometimes think that im blind and that maybe im seeing something that my parents arent..or that they see something I dont. But I see most of the time that they use there own personal problems against us. And a lot of people agree with me.

We have been together for a long time. I trust him and I know he des to me.

Sex is not a prob…we can stop. I know that our relationship does not revolve around it. But still we always use protection.

I don’t know..I dont regret being with him. I love my parents and I dont want to disapoint them but maybe if im so wrong..I should just learn my lesson the hard way. I guess thats one way of learning.

Thanks anyway..

Answer #6

Hey, I have just been through something very similar, except we werent sleeping together. My parents werent comfortable with the age gap and told us that we should just be friends and not over do it for 3 years and then if we still felt the same way they would allow it and would stick up for us etc. We stupidly didnt listen and kept going behind their backs and now I havent spoken to him for 4 months because my parents put a total ban on all contact. I really regret not just waiting and keeping him as a friend, then being able to have him forever, and just ignoring them and getting on with it anyway, so my advice to you is to do as your parents say and if he loves you like he says he does then he will hand on too. I hope that helps and please funmail me and let me know what happens :) xox

Answer #7

I’ve been in this place that you are. my mom just didnt want me to get hurt it wasnt about church or anything. at the time I was in florida and she kept telling me to be careful and if he loves me like he says he will be here wheni turn 18. im 16 now we started dating september 24 2006. I called my ma while being in florida and told her what is the difference if im with someone my age or older we can do the same things. besides bars and stuff but my boyfriend told me he’ll wait for me for bars and such.!!

does this help any?

Answer #8

Thanks Baby doll 7 it does help. Maybe thats what I have to do. to wait.

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