Ever since I was 4 years old I got abused by my Father, when I turned 6, my Mother left him and got a divorce, 2 years later my Mother and I moved to another state. My babysitter abused me physically and verbally and she watched me in the shower. I told my Mother so many times and she never once believed me, I was abused like that until I got into 7th grade, Then I was old enough to stay home alone and stuff. I'm still recovering from the abuse. I need advice. please. I need help, I want to get rid of the terrible memories. I've done a lot of stuff to myself to try to forget; like drugs, drinkin, smoking and stealing and other things I'm not proud of.
Get some professional help. You've learned that none of the other stuff works so maybe it is time to seek counseling. Believe me, I'm not judging, you were trying to cope and those methods do provide temporary relief. Dont beat yourself up about it. You were trying to cope with some horrible memories. I wouldnt continue to engage in hurtful behavior, but you kinda dont want to hang on to it either.
