Relationship matter

Hi I was wondering if you could give me some advice..I’ve been talking to this guy for about 4 months now and he gave me my first kiss…when we started talking we started to like each other and started to have feelings for each other…we started to hangout and talked on the phone a lot.became very close.he’s currently in college right now and is majoring in nursing ,right now I’m just working right now.he just recently just got out of a 3 wk relationship in june.,.we started talking in july and also started to hangout with each other and became really close with one another..as time passed by we started liking each other and he told started calling me names like babe and baby..but I hesitated to call him those names back because I was afraid it took me time ..then he started telling me he loved Me..which made me scared because I didn’t know what I was getting myself into..I never been in a relationship before so its a first for me ..it took me time to say it back I told him I didn’t want to say it towards him because I’m scared overtime I started to know that I began to love him as a friend.I started telling him how I felt about him in september just to make things clear,and tell him how I really felt..and wanted to know where we stand so i  wrote him a email saying.. ( that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking a lot lately.these pass few months that we’ve got to know each other has been great!! I really like being around you..it makes me feel good when I’m around you..and I’m starting to like you a lot but I don’t know..I like your personality and your a big sweetheart very loving and caring ..your a really good guy.and I love you for being that person that you are..yes we been hanging out a lot lately but its a good thing we build up a Good relationship as friends ,that’s always goood.we’ve gotten really close to one other.and became real good friends.but we got a lot to learn about one another..but that just takes time..you have strong feelings for me,I also have Feelings for youu..I never felt like this  about anyone before..and you gave me my first kiss.I really likes you a lot and I know that you likes me a lot too..all we could do is take everything slow and just get to know one another better.we  have a lot to learn about one another..I don’t want to rush into anything right away..rushing into things gets you in trouble..it just all comes with time.,I don’t want things to do down the drain,or fall apart between us and we end up not being friends anymore..I don’t want that to happen…I love having someone like you in my lifee.its interesting and fun talking to you.you are what keeps me on my feet every day..its makes me happy just hearing from you or just recieving a text From you makes me smile ..and happy.I don’t want things to change between us I love the friendship relationship that we have..I love talking to you and being with you a lot..I don’t know its something about you that keeps me interested in youu…I can’t find the words to describe you at all..I did a lot of thinking when you broke up with your ex.because you weren’t ready to be in a relationship and was just focus on school and didn’t have time for girls,yes I respect your space and want you to concentrate on school and your career.I thinks its very important that you do focus on school and yes I told you this already..but I don’t want to jump into anything if your not ready and if you are ready then im not..because I’m afraid of drama.I don’t like drama  I hate drama with a passion..I don’t want to jump into something and then people starts to talk crap about us..I’m not up for that at all.I don’t care what they say but its the fact that their just Causing drama just cause they have nothing better to do or they just like to talk just for the hell of it.then things fall apart between us and we end up just regreting it.but honestly I dont want that.and I know you don’t want to deal with all that crap either.cause you hate drama too.and it only takes one Person to be talking all that crap..and its that person that you broke up with then words going to be spreading that you broke up with her cause you weren’t ready to be in a relationship and just wanted to focus on school.and then a couple months later your in a relationship with me.don’t you think that’s a bit weird?!?she’s already been spreading words about you and making you look bad..I don’t even know why she would do that though.I think its sad..because she wants attention from everyone so that they can feel sorry for her because you supposely treated her like trash! I don’t knonw bebyyy..I love the connection that we have with one another Bebyyy..your something else…I heart you beby!!! I think its best if we just take things slow beby..I don’t want to lose you..and just continue talking as friends.I really don’t want to deal with any drama right now.I have too much going on right now,you don’t need the drama either because you need to concentrate on school and stay focus on your school belongings..things will always be the same between us I hope..I still want to to stay the way it is now..I just had to get this out of my chest.I’ve been keeping it in for the longest time now..and now is when I lett everything out to you beby!!I hope you understand this letter know that im not pushing you away..at all..I just needed to get this out to you and let you know what was on my mind.anyways I’m done letting out my feelings and thoughts to you) this is what he wrote back. (we’re headed in a good way I think… Not too fast… Slow and steady… But its very good like you said because We’re not rushing into anything and thus, we wont be regreting anything which is extremely good. I didnt know I was your first kiss :p but im glad I am, because that means no one beat me to it lol…eh I guess I am kinda indescribable :p but bebe, you are too :p I enjoy talking to you a lot! Im always laughing at some point when I talk to you hehe… But even when theres no laughs, im still down To listening to your stories or how your day has gone… Because of course there wont me laughs every second of every convo :p and when im able to spend time with you, I enjoy it even more :d but I am a pretty busy person and those times are pretty rare, so forgive me if sometimes I cant spend time with you for days at a time sometimes :(I know you got a lot going on too, and I can say I have a lot of things going on too, thats why I cant rush into anything, and wouldnt force you into anything you feel me? We both like each other, thats an obvious, but at the same time we Both need to let each other breathe… And thats exactly what I see in you and me… We let each other live… We’re not constantly choking each other and thats a good thing.and I understand the drama thing… Same thing I’ve thought about.. But I dont really care how other people want to think about things… Let them think what they want to think however they want to think it… Because in the end you cant please everyone… But if youre always nice to people, theyll eventually figure out that anything negative they think about you was only their prejudice towards you… Because some people are just full of bullshit… Best not to listen to them, or let them bring you down, or fear their criticism… Because its negatively based…I heart you lots beby… And of course I want this relationship we have to stay together.. I dont want it to break.. And so thats why I do the things I do… Sometimes I cant chill or talk, but when I can, I do… <3 I’m not Focused on girls right now..out of every girl your the most important to me right now but girls right now in my life I cant be too focus on.I heart you..I doo…your the only girl I talk to.but im just so focused on life that I dont find a need for a girl all the time its a touchy subject. Because I don’t know why im like this before id be chillin with girls all the time but now that im not I have time to be with my friends and get good grades.which will lead to my healthy and Prosperious future.I do have time for you but its true I dont make it a priority.your my “vo” is in vietnamese means wife,thats how  it is your not watever to me your someone I care about.I feel bad because I’ve never been this busy before but at the same time it makes me feel good because im accomplishing my goals.because I dont have time for someone who wants me to have time for them.im being honest with you ho id rather you know how I feel then to keep you in the blind spot im a busy person and during school times Its crzy.u know I dont mean to hurt you though right?im not trying to do anything bad im just prioritizing.hearts you too beb..)   things been good ever sincee..we understand each other …but now he doens’t know what he wants..last week I was thinking again and I asked him where do we stand?and he couldn’t give me a straight answer.he frozed and became very speechless..he said that he doesn’t know..and dont have time to sit down and find out because of how busy he made himself..and he doens’t know what to answer,he knows that I don’t like the fact that he doesn’t know the answer.he said I’m much more to him then any other girl right now but as to where we stand he doesn’t know..I told him that I don’t know either..and he’s like I guess were both confused yay!! I told him its not yay its sarcasm..and he’s like ya I really just dont know I can’t give a definite answer..,I said so will jsut keep it the way it is now?and he’s like I dont know I have To think a little more..he told me that we need to talk and there’s going to be some changes involve.and its one that I might not like..what he’s thinking now is not a thought based on my own selfish needs or anything,it’s mainly for you..it sucks for me too I haven’t been able to focus lately been thinking too much…because as time goes on you’ll be expecting more from me… A relationship being one of them…and I had promised myself not to get myself into such stresses until after college buttt I thought I could deal with it… And up to now I have… But then you keep wanting to see me and me having to say no all the time because of me being busy feels bad but I shouldnt feel bad for being busy… Because its for school and other stuff with friends like running and such..the question of “what are we?” that you asked me the other day… Got me thinking…I told him that I didn’t mean to pop the question like that out to him surprisely..I didn’t Mean to pop the question on you like that I just started thinking cause I was really confused ,really wanted to know where we stand..I know that were just talking and yeah I know your not looking for a relationship because I dont want to rush into anything right now I just really want to take the time out to get to know you first before we jump into anything,which is fine because we’re on the same path you didnt want to rush into anything either..we understand each other we have a lot on our hands right now,so I guess its best if we just took things slow and just know one another as friends ..because I dont want to rush into anything and then regret anything afterwards ,it just sucks I rather not do that.thats just how I feel..I know your in school and all and is concentrating on school.I respect that I want you to concentrate on school..I think its very important..I encourage you to do your work when you need too.I don’t keep you from not doing your Work.do I? He said no not really maybe once or twice..but no not really .. I said I don’t know I tried my best to help you on things and let you do whatever you have to do.I just want to be there for you am I being a bother?and he’s goes I wouldn’t put it that way I’m just trying to focus on me.and I just started thinking what I am doing like..I dont know I’m not good with words right now..I told him I know he’s trying to focus on you!!! But you were focus on yourself for the last 4 months that we were talking why stop now?!? And said he doesn’t know maybe he can’t handle it..and I Ask him what can’t he handle ?he can’t handle me?and he said  he doesn’t know.he don’t think its that more like..I want to focus so much on me and my things and my friends  that I’ve noticed a girl for me right now wouldn’t work for me right now wouldn’t work in my life..I told him that were just talking as friends..he told me he needed to think some more and that He’s sorry for thinking so much..we haven’t really been talking since cause his phone is off all we’ve been doing was talking by email…so then yestuerday I emailed him saying that I’ve been feeling really crappy lately knowing that things aren’t okay between us..and that I wanted to see him so we can talk things over between us.. And he said yea,maybe sometime this week..things are ok between us…but I think we took a step back though its that a question I dont know..I didn’t know what he’s trying to tell me..so I asked him step back where I dont get where you going were just talking were not moving any where.I understand your situation its not that im picking a fight over it I’m understanding and respecting everything that you decide on doing.and he goes ok,but the point is that we are still ok but different thats all I guess..don’t worry I’ll see you sometime this week or talk to you on the phone..so I just let him go..we haven’t reallly.I’m just Really really confused right now.cause he told me we had something but don’t know where we stand.. I need some advice really bad these last couple of days has been very depressing..so could you give me some advicce on what to do ?!?

Answer #1

k honestly.. long story.. short answer.. if you like him and he likes you go for it just move slow.. keep it on the friend side more.. if he really likes you he will understand.. and dont put things aside for him.. do it for you… big big tip…

More Like This
Advisor

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Imago UK Relationship Therapy

Therapy Services, Counseling Services, Relationship Therapy

Advisor

Principle Skills Relationship...

Counseling Services, Therapy Services, Relationship Workshops

Advisor

Miss Date Doctor® - Relations...

Mental Health Services, Relationship Coaching, Couples Therapy

Advisor

Online Astrology Solution

Astrology Services, Relationship Counseling, Love Advice