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Once I was in the car with my mom and stopped by the mall to pick up my sister from work. It was five or ten minutes before 9pm, and she usually comes out five or ten minutes after. So I went inside the mall to look around rather than sit in the car and my mom told be to be back before my sister came out. About ten minutes later I went back out into the parking lot and the car was gone. It was like 9 o'clock at night, and it was a school night, which seems to be important to parents, but she had just left me there. I called her cell phone from a pay phone and asked her where she was and she said they were half-way home because they were sick of waiting for me so they just left. I was like 14. She came back and picked me up.
Another time I had this cheap electric scooter I got for my birthday. I had these pants with bad pockets that stuff always fell out of, and one day I sat down on the couch and the keys fell out and went down between the cushions. A few minutes later I realized they were missing and was looking around the house for them and my dad asked what I was looking for. I told him and he asked "You lost them already?". I said "Yeah," and he said "I'm sure. What a f*cking moron."
I also used to occasionally go into states of super depression where I cried because I was scared of the future. My parents tried to figure out what was wrong and I told them I was a burden doing this all the time and them having to deal with it, and my dad said "Don't worry about us." About a week later it happened again after I skipped a whole day of school because school was hell for me and they wanted to know why I skipped. During the conversation my dad started yelling at me while I was already in the worst state of my life and said "Try thinking about somebody else besides yourself for a change!". I snapped. I was so unbelievably depressed and furious at the same time I just started yelling, and the whole time my dad was yelling at me to not give him any of that bullsh*t.
A few weeks ago we sort of got into an argument and I told them they sucked as parents and he told me I have nothing to complain about. He said if I had been molested or beaten or something I might have room to talk, but I've got such wonderful material items and am living like a king. I tried to explain to them, but I was angry and couldn't think straight, and didn't think to bring up any of that stuff. But I pointed out my sisters lack of visitation ever since they moved out. They don't care about visiting my parents because they were never good parents. Physically, sure, but emotionally detached. There was always a severe lack of affection.
But what the hell am I whining about, right? I've got such nice things. I live in their house and they feed me. They never beat me or anything. I'm living like a king, with no reason to complain. I'm just a self-centered crybaby. I'm just a burden.
No, your not a burden or a crybaby. Your parents just dont have the quality of affection. My Mom gets mad at me when I feeel sad? I dont get it either. But dont get me wrong, I love my Mom to death and I know she loves me, its just that she hates to hear me put myself down, or when I feel sad. Your parents are probably just not showing their "loving" side. Like they want you to be happy but they arent sure how to help you, and they're scared of you being unhappy. Just talk to them, but dont say it harshly. Example: (Do NOT say it like this) I dont feel like you guys are affectionate enough. (even though you probably dont) Example: (Say it more like this) Mom, Dad... I love you guys. And I know you love me. But I just would like it if we could talk more together. You know, spend some more time with eachother. I would like that, and I was hoping you would like it too.
Hope I helped you out... and Good Luck! :)
Dear kamex, First of all you have made some really bad choices...leaving the car because YOU were tired of waiting. They left because of the same reason. You lost your keys because your pockets weren't deep enough...didn't you check this out before putting your keys there? You skipped school and they got mad??? Well Ya. The way your parents handle the situations may not be the best but you are giving them the situations! Your parents have no coping skills and either do you...you all could benefit from counselling and some lessons in coping. You learn what you live. If you truly want to change things then see a counsellor. Sue...good luck
ALL of us say things in the 'heat of the moment' we really don't mean and wish we could take back - look around you and see what you really have to be Thankful for - if you need to apologize, do it - if you need to change for the better, do it - you can - it's certainly not 'all you', being a parent is difficult also and we make mistakes - realize they care and truely looking for your best interests...I wish you all the best !!
The thing is I don't think they love me, and I don't think I love them. Thanks to them I can't say those kinds of things, it's just not my nature. I don't want to spend more time with them, and if they wanted to spend more time with me they would have done something about that many years ago. I can't forgive them for making me like this, and I just want it to go away.
Your post saddens and angers me. If you lived near me, I would gladly take you in and show you a better life. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this; your self-esteem must be really hurt!
Have you ever considered seeinh a family therapist? i think that you guys could really use one.
Parents suck and I never want to be one.
