My poem 'That Little Girl'

Let me know what you think. When I first wrote this I didn’t mean for it to sound like a fantasy poem, the ending was symbolic to the little girl actually taking her own life cause she was so unhappy. I don’t know if that puts a morbid spin on it so interpret it how you wish:

That Little Girl

That little girl who was so shy she dreamed one day that she would fly. When people laughed and people stared, she still dreamed she didn’t care.

When the nights were cold and she couldn’t sleep she looked at the stars and her mind would creep. She saw herself dancing on the moon, unaware her dream would become true soon.

That little girl who could not speak ignored all the kids who called her a freak. She lived her life as best she could. One day she would fly, she knew she would.

Before she knew it her dream came true. All of a sudden just out of the blue. She spread her wings and took to the sky, without looking back she whispered goodbye.

Answer #1

Beautifully Written. I love poetry! ^_^

I tip my hat to you.*

Answer #2

Kinda sad in a happy way… or is it happy in a sad way? I dunno but I like it.

Answer #3

That was really good! Well done =]

Answer #4

aawww that almost made me cry. I luv sad poems. I luv morbid poems 2, but that one wasn’t morbid at all:)

Answer #5

This is a great poem.

Answer #6

wow thats really good

Answer #7

Pretty good. My advice would have to be, though, to try going with some more complicated rhymes, the poem is a little simple for my taste, but work your way towards it. Just a little advice for you, but very good concept. Keep up the good work. :)

Answer #8

awwh… its so sad… but amazing. =] I luvd itt!!! =] the symbolism really was fantastic. =] the ending doesnt give it a “morbid” twist–it makes it bettr. =]

Answer #9

thats really good. I interpretted it that she died at the end. dont get mad or laugh at me if thats not how its supposed to be :)

Answer #10

I liked it its not the type of stuff I would normaly read but I like the juxtaposition of the kinda fluffy way of phrasing things that obviously had a dark undercurrnent

I too like to writ poetry and have posted one of mine today I would like to hear you opinion on it

peace

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Silverhints

Poetry, Shayari, Ghazal