What do I do with my marriage?

Should I go or stay in my marriage? Please don’t be rude or anything… I don’t need it right now… and yes I know this is long and drawn out and I am sorry but needed to get it all off my chest…. Thanks a head of time for listening….It is very complicated. I have been with my husband now for 9 years off and on. Married for 3. I have year 9 old son together and he has a 11 year old daughter and a 8 year old son with someone else. I love all 3 of the kids the same and always will. Here is the problem though…. I feel that he treats my son completely different than he does his own. Now don’t get me wrong I understand that he only gets the other 2 every other weekend and then for some of the summer and on holidays or on days when school is out… However…. He has this thing with that my son needs to read for at least a hour,,and he needs to practice his handwriting and do extra math EVERY DAY…7 days a week.. Now again don’t get me wrong, I do want my son to read and do certain things but I don’t think it should be so strict and every single day,.He gets on the A honor roll all the time. But my point is that when the other kids are here he does not make them read at all. If I say something like well you need to have all of them read for awhile most the time he gets mad and if I say well you have my son read everyday he said that’s APPLES AND ORANGES, stop comparing. Then chores I make my son help me clean the kitchen,he does the bathroom,his room, trash and helps with whatever I need, so I made a rule that when the kids come over on Saturdays they could help clean as well but my husband gets up early on Saturday before they come and gets my son to help him clean. If I say something like why don’t you have all the kids do the stuff together he starts snapping talking loud saying you say such stupid things it makes no damn sense to leave the ** here and have them clean when we can just do it…. Am I wrong for wanting them to help out too? Then he never gets a tone with the other two if they say dad its always yes in a calm tone and if they keep asking something he just answers them but my son says something and its just different a tone is in his voice most of the time and just makes it sound like he is forced to talk. .He always calls him a liar even when it has been proven on plenty of occasions that my son was not lying. When the other 2 kids are here he will get up and play and run around and all the kids are allowed to stay up till 3-4 in the morning playing and doing whatever they want. But the minute they leave he does nothing with me and my son, and he automatically says its bedtime early again. Not that I want my son up that late but its just strange to me.My other thing is that his daughter and son wont answer us when we call sometimes for whatever reason so I asked them to call us at least 2 times a week when we don’t have them and when they didn’t we asked why and she came out saying she didn’t like her dad and he is annoying and he did nothing at all to her. But yet my son got a attitude with me the other day and stomped away saying fine when I told him to clean something, then came back in apologized but he had to write 100 sentences. It has been 3 months now and the girl still hasn’t called and he still does nothing but just act like nothing matters. Then…. My son will want to play toys or something and my husband will always come up with something like did you do your handwriting, did you do this just stuff that doesn’t really have to be done every single day, and then he will sit there and talk to my son so much that then it is time for bed and he never got to play… like for example tonight he played 2 rounds of old maid with me and my son with attitude of course not talking the whole damn time. but then my son wanted to play with transformers and me and my son usually just playing with them no matter if they are transformed or not, but my husband came in there transforming them all back the way he wanted them and wouldn’t let us play and then it was bed time, my son tried talking to him about one of the transformers and he just had a non shunt attitude..

I love him, but I love my son and he is important to me and it is my job to protect him. My son says sometimes it is OK and he wants to stay but then other times he says he just wants to leave. Even the other 2 kids say things bother them sometimes…. The other thing with it is that my husband different to me at times to like if I say something he doesn’t like or I ask a question that he thinks doesn’t make any sense he will get a attitude and if I say something like why are you acting like that he will call me a stupid *, and just say real mean things to me. I try telling him how I feel but it is like h could care less. I try not to say things and just shut up but I just cant sometimes cause I don’t like the way things are or are going…. What do I do? I need someone to talk to I have no family or anything to talk too….

I think about it a lot when I am not in the heat of the moment and I would have to say more sad than happy,.And I know I thought about the alimony and stuff but I doubt I will ever get that from him. Seriously. but I will defiantly keep it a secret for sure. Sometimes I feel like I am seriously having a nervous breakdown! Then to top everything off he hasn’t worked now in almost 3 years, he barely showers now for some reason he says he does but he doesn’t…. It disgusts me seriously….But he gets pissed when I say something…. Then he has this obsession with porn lately. he has lists of girls names written down and movies i mean thousands of them… our self life is OK when he showers …. but i don’t know just things are strange he does nothing around here anymore but just get mad when someone says or does something he don’t like.

No I defiantly don’t want the same thing to happen to my son. He is my everything and I can honestly say I feel everything he feels and I know this cant be good for him nor me but how do I do this with no help,no car, no money I mean seriously?Okay my other thing I need opinions on is that. Say I leave my husband should I stay here in Massachusetts so my son will be able to see his brother and sister, (my step kids), or should I move back to Texas where all my family is? I do not have any family here. Cause right now I am stuck in the middle of which to do I don’t want to move my son to far from bro and sis and dad but at the same time my family is all in Texas and we have no one here besides them????

maybe he is that way because of them not being here all the time but its all the time. i mean i can see being a little more lenient but not doing or saying anything to them is the thing that gets to me. they don’t even want to come over. and sometimes he doesn’t do anything with him. look i know that he loves our son to some degree but its not just that he makes him do things its the way he talks to him at times. and the way he talks to me i don’t think that is healthy for my son. if i ask my husband a question and he doesn’t like he will tell me i need to learn to shut my mouth and things like that

Okay let me clarify this please. My son is 9 years old and yes my son is my husbands step son. We were together and broke up and back together quite a few times. Okay regarding my step kids their mom lets him see them when he wants to see them all he has to do is call and he never does. I am the one that always calls the kids and talks to them, I am the one that does everything for them. But as far as having a mean demeanor behind him when they are here not towards them only my son. So as far as missing them I really don’t see that . I am the one that filled out court paper work to have them every other weekend not him he was only having them on Sundays for a few hours. the kids don’t even like him, his daughter cries cause she don’t want to see him sometimes. as far as making honor roll because he

pushes him NO!! i am the one that sits down and works with my son all the time not him ever. what i meant by that was that he expects him to do it for hours sometimes and doesn’t let him be a kid

I understand that being a step dad is different than being a real dad as people say however I am a step mom and I don’t treat anyone differently. I want my son to excel but i also want him to be a child you are only a child once. my son adores his dad he tries to do everything he does he wants to be just like him but its like he wants and does everything like him just to get attention from him. like he will ask him the same question all the time and ill say why do you keep doing that and he will say cause i just want to be talked to. but husband is rude to him and will say come on now stop asking something you already know that don’t make no damn sense. my son is not a bad kid., i am not saying he is perfect. my husband even says my son is lying sometimes like about certain papers that need to be done for school but then when i talk to the teach i find out my son is telling the truth, and when i tell husband he says whatever like nothing was wrong with accusing son

yes I have tried talking to him about me and him and our family and he doesn’t talk he only hears what he wants to hear. Sometimes I will be talking to him and then I will turn around and say something and he will say huh like he wasn’t listening to me the whole time. I tell him that I want to talk about me and him and that i think it would help if we talk more and he is like if you want to talk then talk, so i do and the whole time i am talking he is looking at the TV and flipping through the remote wont even look at me so i say could you please look at me and he said does it matter. i mean isn’t that wrong? I tell him about our finance problems and he says well i am going to get a job but he doesn’t all he does is watch TV. we talk, do nothing, he wont even tell me good night when we got to bed at night i have to beg pretty much to get a kiss. i do everything for this man cook 3 meals ,take care of kids,clean,work, pay all the bills, and i still try to spend time w/him