Are You Happily Married ? Has Your Marriage Ever Failed?

Im newly married. yesterday marked the 4 month of our marriage. I always maintained that I would never marry because of the example my mom set for us. shes been married and divorced 5 times. I personally dont believe in divorce and neither does my husband so heres hoping things will work out the way we plan. lol

My Parents Divorced. It Was A Blessing. Now I Have Two Mom’s, Two Dad’s, TONS Of Siblings, Two Homes, And ONE Great Life :)

I was in a bad marriage. Well, most of the first year was good then the next 17 years not so good. I kept trying to fix it and hoped that things would get better but they never did.

Now I’m happily married and have a wonderful daughter. I’m philosophical about my frist marriage. If I had to be unhappy for 17 years to be where I am now I suppose it was worth it though I still wish I cut my losses a lot earlier.

My advice is to choose carefully. Don’t be in too big a hurry to marry. People who marry at 20 are taking a big chance because people change a lot in the decade between 20 and 30. That was what happened in my first marriage; instead of growing together we grew apart.

We’ve been married for 38 years, known and loved her for over 40. Still makes her mad when I introduce her as my 1st wife.

Like most things worth having a good marriage takes work. We both love each other very much, but there have been times I would like to have killed her and told God she died. LOL. I know she has never felt that way about me.

We have had a pretty much cabbage patch marriage concerning issues. Most concern money and the kids. Early on it’s money, then in the “how should we handle this one?” I haven’t looked at statistics in a very long time, but as we were going through them, the 1st year, the 7th year and when the kids leave home are the “trying” times for a marriage. And it seemed to hit us at those stages. Yet we knew that and were prepared for the “when the kids left home stage”. At that point we made it a point to take advantage of the “free” time we now had with each other. And laughed about going to the grocery store and buying little cans of green beans just for the two of us. It either is no longer a valid statistic, or it just swept us by.

Each stage of our marriage, pre - kid, kid phase and grandkid phase has been wonderful, wouldn’t trade for any of them, nor change much of what has occurred, from the marriage, career, kid, and certainly not the grandchildren. In retrospect I would have bought the 64 Mustang instead of the 67 Pontiac convertible, but that’ monetary monday morning hindsight. I did love the Pontiac.

We’ve gone through some very rough times medically, I was always breaking or tearing up something and she of course was there supporting me during rehab, doting over me - the part I do hate - and taking care of that which I couldn’t at the time.

Just before my son left for college We took up kayaking - we both love nature, we later bought a sailboat. Some of the best times in our life have been out on the water in the Caribbean, working together during a squal in the Bermuda Triangle, laughing about the looming cloud up front containing the electronic fog, or working on a broken water pump next to a deserted island yelling as the wrench slipped, and her laughing until I threw her off the boat and jumped in after her.

We have two beautiful grandchildren whom she is back visiting in the U.S.

The things that come to mind are work, compromise and communication. At least they worked for us, so far, - if she doesn’t get back here and do the laundry…And if I want her to know I posted that, I’ll tell her ok!!

I’ve been married twice…the first I was far to immature and it was a battle from day one, until we divorced twelve years later…I take responsibility for the failure…I was a party girl, and there was nothing going to stop me.

I’ve been married now, for over 20 years…we’ve had rough spots…certainly things have happened that might have been “deal breakers” in other marriages, but we toughed it out…and are glad we did, because the bottom line has always been we love each other…

A sense of humor can be armor against the things that bombard early marriages…another little insight I picked along the way, and have adhered to without fail…I will not withold the good things that come with true friendship…(which basically means I don’t hold him to a different standard than I would my best girl friend)…

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