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Should I wait until my kids are grown to get out of this marriage?

Hi Mandy this is really wierd asking someone younger then me advice which what I’m going to ask may be way over your head but I sure need to talk to someone who isn’t here that knows me you know. I’ve been married for 15 years we have 2 wonderful children but we have been having problems since before we even had kids we have been together since I was 15 & he was 17 now we’re 35 & 36. I made a mistake when I was 16 & well slept with him & I was raised when that happens thats who you stay with & I have. We fight all the time my son he’s 12 has taken me back to his room many times & told me to stay with him things will be ok. And I have tried to walk out but my son always changes my mind. My problem is I have met someone else & I know without a doubt it is wrong but he is the best friend I have ever had & he treats me like a real human being instead of something he owns. I only work part time so I don’t have a lot of money plus with 2 kids I can’t do it on my own my friend is trying to save up to get us a place so I can get out of my situation. The part I have trouble with is I’ve been threw a divorce I’ve seen my parents split up when I was my son’s age & it was no fun. I am so confused as to what to do wait til the kids are grown & get out on my own & just let them keep seeing the fighting all the time or get out while they are still young & hope they don’t hate me for it. Big problem isn’t it. If you don’t have an answer thats fine I know it’s a big one but thank you anyway for just listening. Take Care of yourself. Love Always & Many Blessings! Shelley

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Answer #1

Dear angel2372, Well I am older and have been through something similar. We think that we should stay in dysfunctional relationships because of the children; the stats show that children are happier when they are in a happy single parent home then in a fighting, dysfunctional two parent home. So staying for the kids is not a good idea. Marrying young is also a big contributor to divorce. In many cases one will outgrow the other. After a longterm relationship is a good idea to wait before getting involved with someone else. Take the time to get to know yourself again and have your children get to know the real you…someone who isn’t always under stress, fighting and arguing. Get some counselling and join a woman’s group that deals with these issues. You will be amazed at who you truly are. The worst thing is to start another relationship before you end this one…it doesn’t show a very good example for the children. Sue…good luck

Answer #2

Hello,

I am 24 Years old, So not that young. Feel free to vent all you want. I have been married and divorced. It is really hard to leave and I could imagine that it would be harder with kids!! I dont have any. The bottom line is, your unhappy, and if your fighting all the time, i would imagine your husband is unhappy, which in turn is making your children unhappy. You are not going to have anyone else happy until you make your self happy. Sit back and think, Are you in love anymore? Is this marriage worth saving? Can you ever see yourself being happy again? Think about it and you will figure out what you need to do. If you have to leave because your are not happy, that does not make you a bad person. Remember that. Sometimes two people just cant make it work...If there is anything else i can help you with let me know.
Answer #3

surely your son would prefer that both his parents lead a happy loving life, I think you should do what you feel is right, you only have one life, and you should make it a happy one

Answer #4

I know i might seem way to young on this but I’m 14 and i know exactly what you are going threw!!! i mean if you could explain my mom and dad that would be it!!! and well the best sollution for you and your kids is to leave now!!! dont stay in a position like this for your kids!!!i know what it is like ot be your son and i always changed my mind it started to happend once when we were going to leave and i changed my mind!!! And i have regretted that day ever since. I think you deserve the right ot be happy and dont dwell on it just get out of this marriage. but never under any cercomstances leave your kids behind. always be with them they may not like it at first but it is whats better in the long run and dont let them change your mind they will thank you!!!

Answer #5

i’m 20. Let me tell you…if you hate your marriage then chances are so do your kids. my parents are married and they fight SSSOOO much that when I was younger (im not living with them anymore) I wished they would just get a divorce. It hurt way too much to hear them scream and fight so much. There was just so much hate in my house that I grew up hating men and relationships. huge problems for me, obviously. good luck.

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