Issues with my mom

Hmm a toughie. As with any parent (or at least most parents nowadays), they might still have that old adage that they’ve had a tough life growing up, so they’re practically angels compared to the kids these days. Being a parent also gives them the feeling of control over their children sometimes(often misconstrued as ‘guidance’) and basically want to show their children that they’re older, and therefore wiser. So, in that respect, you cannot blame her, as back in the day, kids are hardwired to do everything their parents expect them to do.

There will always be some sort of comparison between you and your siblings, or even with other people like your better-off friends or cousins. She may not go about it a more positive, nurturing manner, but she means well and wants you to aim high and do good (even if you are already a star student). It seems like your mother is a perfectionist, so there will always be an endless pursuit of perfection, perhaps until you move out and get a job. But that doesn’t mean her expectations for you to succeed in life will stop. Better than a dead-beat mother who doesn’t care about you ;)

However, I don’t really know why your mother hates your friends, etc. Does your mom have friends? Does she go out and socialize a lot? She probably needs other activities in her life to keep her happy and occupied. Maybe you can introduce some of your friends’ parents to her and they can swap stories about their kids and won’t hate your friends as much. If she can respect their parents, she will at least try to respect their kids.

You can continue to go out with your friends, if only to escape your ‘controlling’ mother, but keep her in mind when you are out, and send her a text message every hour or so telling her that you’re safe. Also let her know where you will be and who you’ll be with as well before you go out. Play her game and be mature about it, she will start to calm down a lil after awhile. Keep her in the loop. It’s normal for parents to still freak out and worry about their kids safety when they go out, sometimes even after they’ve married and moved somewhere else! But that just means that they love you.

Relax :) Daughters will start to clash more with her mother as she goes through her teenage years because you’re breaking the little protective bubble your mother made for you when you were a baby. You’re starting to learn to be responsible, independent, and mature, and you will have different ideas about your future than the one your mother had thought. Don’t worry, go with the flow for now. You’ll be friends with her again when you’ve moved out and living your life. She will be proud of your nonetheless :)