How to get my friend to stop using drugs,drinking,smoking?

So my friends 17 and his name is Jamie. He was just kicked out of rehab which is really unfortunate. He’s not doing the best with his drugs. He is becoming an alcholic, and he smokes and is getting back into coke. I try and stop him everytime he goes to use, we had huge fights over it.. Ends up with me crying usallay but he would never hurt me in any way. I’m just wondering what Is a good way to get him out of it? Or any help would really be nice please

Answer #1

You know what is interesting? heresjohnny said a lot and you some how got that you should give up on him. He didnt even say that. Makes me wonder if people have said that to you before. But you stubbornly hold onto the fact that he’s going to change and you’re going to save him. You’re not going to save him. He was not unfortunately kicked out of rehab. He did something that broke the rules and so he got kicked out. Ever heard of enabling? It means making excuses for the person to continue doing their behaviors. He is not becoming an alcoholic. He’s already a drug addict. He may be shifting from one drug to another, but bottom line is that he’s a drug addict (alcohol is a drug). You cannot save him. Your love cannot save him. You needing him cannot save him. Because he needs the drugs more than he needs you. He loves the drugs more than he needs you. And all you are doing by making excuses for him is making it worse. I’m not saying you should give up on him. But you need to learn about addiction to get it. Because if you think that anything you do is going to make him stop, you’re deluding yourself.

‘but he would never hurt me in any way’

uhm you mean except for abusing drugs and alcohol and fighting with you about it?

He’s in denial about his problems. But you’re in far worse denial about him. And the problem with that is, until you accept reality, you’re just contributing to his drug problem.

Answer #2

if he is doing that I don’t think you should see him mabye just talk on the phone but he sounds he is in a lot of trouble and pain just give him some space

Answer #3

You can’t say that! I know your problay right but I’m not gonna give up on him:( he means the world to me!!! And I need him.

Answer #4

I am sorry to say sweetheart that you cannot help your friend, especially as he has been kicked out of rehab. They are trained professionals and he obviously does not have the desire to give up the booze and drugs. In order for someone to recover they must first acknowledge the problem, then have a desire to stop their behavior. It sounds to me that you have done all you can. Short of saying choose me or the drugs (trust me he’ll choose the drugs) there is nothing more you can do. Preserve yourself, and hold your head up high for trying to be a good friend and Savior.

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