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Could you guys rate my poem?
On a scale of 1-10 how do you rate my abuse poem? [NOTE: I AM NOT ABUSED! IT IS JUST THE CHARACTER!]
Dear Diary,
Today he did it once again
My bones are cracked
Bruises cover my skin
But I can’t fight back
I miss mommy
Her loving hugs
Her stories at night
Her unconditional love
He did it again
He called me worthless
I was hit seven times
And I wonder is it worth this?
My tears stain the floor
Blood puddles around
I wish mom was here
So I’d be safe and sound
He did it again
Pushed me down to the floor
Slammed my head to the wall
Threw me against the door
He is doing it now
The door swings open
His threat fills the room
I am already broken
My life was already done
Before it began
He grabs my arm
And twists back my hand
I scream out in pain
A shock fills the air
He screams and pulls me
Up by the hair
I am slapped once
Twice and again
He threatens to kill me
Says I won’t go to heaven
Somebody help me!
I think to myself
Desperately pleading
That is will reach some one else
Dear Diary,
That is all for today
All for forever
Until he changes his way
He found you now
And throws me to the floor
Thankfully stopped
By a knock at the door
Dear Diary,
I thought I was saved
But he ignored the knock
And sent me to the grave
Dear Diary,
I am with my momma now
We are up here looking down
Watching as the people bow
Daddy is in jail
We are all safe from harm
Tonight I will sleep
In my lost mother’s arms
Very intense and sad. I would give it a 7 as a first draft. It needs a bit more work but I’m sure you can work out the kinks :)
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