More Art, Writing & Literature Questions

Can you guys give me some feed back on a poem I wrote??

I am a foster sister and wrote this about a boy that came into our care.

It’s called ‘Tears and torments of a young boy’

I sleep with the sound of tears ringing in my ears. Coughing, sluttering, choaking on air. Is he putting this on or is he really scared? A concrete wall is no match for his howles. His face is red with struggles and anger Hes upset, hes confused, hes stuck in this state. Calling to the heavens to end his fate. This boy has been through so much, lost so many, all he wants back is his happy family. That wont happen, it cant as angels came with their final chant for a woman so close and dear to his heart. Now he lives with a family he doesn’t really know. A different house the final blow. His cries were once in anger and rage are now begging for mercy, for the end. What seems to be a happy boy is by night a wreck all this boy has is his foster family left. So young his whole life ahead, a daunting thought at times of best. but for this little boy already serverly disstressed calls on the angels to remove him from this mess.

Missunderstood, left to this world good luck my boy find peace in this chaos. to me you are the boy next door, my foster brother for a boy with so little id happily share my mother.

Become an Expert →

Answer #1

Thats an amasing poem. My girlfriend has experiecee with the foster program and that kinda connects all the stories she has ever told me :) wonderful. As for the story it tells i hope he finds peace. Do you have any other poems?

Answer #2

quite a few and still got more to add there on my pc and scraps of paper somewhere chech my profile to see more and il add the others asap

More Like This

Can you guys give me some feed back on a poem i wrote ?? It's called 'Soul of a Zombie' xx - 5 Answers
xx Standing reluctantly infront of the sink, it's half ten and im washing dishers again. It's been a long day, a blur of a l...
Do you guys like the love poem I wrote? - 4 Answers
POEM BY BINA Forget his name ,forget his face,forget his kiss,his warm entrance Forget the love that you once knew Remember h...
Who Wrote this poem - 1 Answers
I said to a man who stood at the gate of the year, Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown, . . . . .
Check out this poem I wrote awhile back - 1 Answers
Loving you By: Tela I love you with all my heart and I never want to let you go you’re the only one for me you make me feel...
what do you guys think of the poem i wrote? - 5 Answers
To my dear, Even though you’re not here I think if I speak, you’ll hear Will you listen if I speak clear? I’m running on ic...
What do you think of this poem I wrote? - 5 Answers
Its for this guy that I really like. We talk to each other about our life everyday. I really wish I cld let him read this but...
Another poem I wrote - 2 Answers
I wrote this months ago, and found it on my blog and thought I would like to know what people think, I dont think its good th...
What do you think of this poem I wrote when iwas 14? - 8 Answers
Okay, im 16 right now and I wrote this poem when I was 14. I had my first love a 14, his name was Robert.He moved away at the...
a poem that I wrote, what do you think? - 7 Answers
Uhh I wrote a poem a while back and I just now found it again (random huh? I know lol) and I was just wondering what you thin...
Believe it or not...I wrote a poem! - 10 Answers
Right on valentines day I felt original just writing out a card for me girlfriend, so thought I would put a poem in, now the ...

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

Can you guys give me some feed back on a poem I wrote??

Poems Please

The Poster Guys

Diamond Nail Supplies

Shopnobilap

Proton Paper Industry