Can you guys give me some feed back on a poem I wrote??

I am a foster sister and wrote this about a boy that came into our care.

It’s called ‘Tears and torments of a young boy’

I sleep with the sound of tears ringing in my ears. Coughing, sluttering, choaking on air. Is he putting this on or is he really scared? A concrete wall is no match for his howles. His face is red with struggles and anger Hes upset, hes confused, hes stuck in this state. Calling to the heavens to end his fate. This boy has been through so much, lost so many, all he wants back is his happy family. That wont happen, it cant as angels came with their final chant for a woman so close and dear to his heart. Now he lives with a family he doesn’t really know. A different house the final blow. His cries were once in anger and rage are now begging for mercy, for the end. What seems to be a happy boy is by night a wreck all this boy has is his foster family left. So young his whole life ahead, a daunting thought at times of best. but for this little boy already serverly disstressed calls on the angels to remove him from this mess.

Missunderstood, left to this world good luck my boy find peace in this chaos. to me you are the boy next door, my foster brother for a boy with so little id happily share my mother.

Answer #1

Thats an amasing poem. My girlfriend has experiecee with the foster program and that kinda connects all the stories she has ever told me :) wonderful. As for the story it tells i hope he finds peace. Do you have any other poems?

Answer #2

quite a few and still got more to add there on my pc and scraps of paper somewhere chech my profile to see more and il add the others asap

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