Can you guys give me some feed back on a poem i wrote ?? It's called 'Soul of a Zombie' xx

xx

Standing reluctantly infront of the sink, it’s half ten and im washing dishers again. It’s been a long day, a blur of a life, i hold in my hand a very sharp knife. Thoughts spring to mind, ones i shouldn’t be having. In my right i hold the power to end life, will it be mine tonight? I can’t bring myself to put it down,the want is so high. Gazing at the knife then my reflection in the window ‘Who is she?’ is repeated. Contemplating my fate, so many ways to do it, is this the one?, where to start… ‘Oh such fun’ feeling no pain, she’s bleeding again. The reflection hasn’t flinched not even a bit, the gash in her chest is going in by the inch. The dishers need cleaning again, some one walks in and see’s me staring at the knife..still clean. My relfection has died a horrible death. I continue with my zombie like life, knowing my soul was killed that night..

Answer #1

It’s a bit morbid but you know what I kinda like it. I deeply felt how intense the situation was at the moment and that’s a good thing coz you were able to entice me as a reader. So good job! (^^,)

Answer #2

Thank you I have recently added more if anyone would like to chech them out all feed back is welcome and aprechiated xxx

Answer #3

Hey that is good! I really liked it!. It is very interesting and written very well.

Answer #4

It would make a good song.

Answer #5

I like it, your a good writer :) it was very interesting.

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