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Family Problem - Needs Adult with children Advice

So this is kind of complicated to write about but I will do my best. My uncle has a pit bull. He’s had it about 3 or 4 years now I think. Since he was a pup anyway. He first had him in the house then he was forced to move in with my grandma (his mom) because of a disability and not being able to work which put the dog outside. The dogs name is toby. Since being caged, toby has become territorial and aggressive. But my grandma and uncle were the primary caregivers. Since my uncle has now moved out, about 2 years later, toby has become an inside dog. Whenever my 3 year old and my 8 month old, me and my husband visit he puts toby in a room till we leave. When I asked him to babysit for about 3 hours he said it was okay. He basically babysit my first baby the whole time I was working to make money and always done a satisfactory job with her. When I took the babies over to watch them, he said that he was going to leave the dog out while I was gone. I was horrified. I love my grandma and my uncle with all my heart and never thought that I would refuse to talk to them. But this drew a line for me. He said that he would never let anything happen to them and that toby wouldn’t be a concern because he would be there. He says only strangers is a problem. Toby actually broke my grandma’s knee on accident by running into her because he is so active. In a way I want to talk to them, but then again I don’t because these are my children and I had a terrible feeling about leaving them there. Should I make peace with them? Seems like they are still trying to treat me like a child after 22 years and 2 babies. My grandma only became involved because my uncle called her and told her what happen and she always sides with him. But she has been my best friend my whole life. Even raised me. But she has been stepping over the line in the last year and hurting my feelings over things that are not of her concern. When my uncle called, I just hung up till he stopped calling, my grandma hasn’t tried calling. Am I wrong? In a way, I don’t want to talk to them anymore for thinking it’s okay to leave small children around toby.

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Answer #1

The most important thing to consider here is that these are YOUR children and you have the final say in anything to do with their well-being. If you feel the children are in danger around this dog, then you have every right to keep the kids away.

This has nothing to do with the dog being a pit-bull and the bad reputation that usually follows them. My daughter was mauled by a cocker spanial when she was 3 - it’s a devastating thing to go through.

Until your family is ready to allow you to make the decisions regarding your children’s safety, maybe it would be best to find someone else to watch the kids. if you don’t protect them, who will?

Answer #2

Thank you for your responses. This is the way my husband and my mother feel about the situation although neither give their oppinion “outloud” thinking that it will probably make the situation worse. I have always trusted my grandma and my uncle for most situations. This is one of the few however that is devistating to me. I am emotionally exausted from this because I love them so much, but these are my children and I love them too.

Answer #3

I don’t know if I would alienate them completely for making a bad judgement call but I agree with u, there’s NO WAY I’d leave my kids somewhere with a pitbull running loose around them. Pitbulls have been known to turn on children with horrendous results. And both of your children are too young to undestand what you may tell them about treating the dog. My daughter is 14 and I STILL wouldn’t let her go anywhere involving a situation like this. I’d talk to your uncle first and just let him know that its not him you don’t trust its the dog. Just tell him to google “pit bull attack” or “children and pitbulls” I’m sure he’d get more than he bargained for If he’s not willing to put the dog outside or in another room while your children are then I’d have to be looking for another sitter. Good luck!! [•:

Answer #4

Your uncle said: He said that he would never let anything happen to them and that toby wouldn’t be a concern because he would be there. He says only strangers is a problem.

He is admitting the dog can potentially be a problem / aggressive - something can happen very quickly and his disability may increase any response time !!

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT !! - it would be exposing your precious children to an unnecessary risk - you’ve every right and doing your job as a parent, looking after their best interests !! - good for you Mom for drawing that line !!

You should sit down with them and explain to them as the mother of these children, this is how it must be - you must always be present if the children / dog are together so you can supervise - this should not come between your relationship with the 2 of them…I wish you the very best and again commend you for being a great Mom !!

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