Do you think our families will be mad if we get married without telling them, and if so, how do we handle that situation?

I don’t know that they would be mad, but probably disappointed and upset, as you said. Really, though, it’s your marriage. You should get to choose how you spend the happiest day of your life :) My advice? After the marriage, sit down and explain to them the reasons you had for having a surprise wedding. They’ll be upset but in the end, they’ll probably just be happy for you :)

Maintain the fact that what you did is what made you happy, you appreciate that they would have liked to be there and if you had wanted a bigger ceremony then they would have been more than welcome. But this was what you and Chris wanted, something small and intimate and more symbolic than showy (sorry if I’m assuming) and that you’re sorry if you caused any offence but you’re happy so you hope that they are happy for you, even if they couldn’t be a part of it. I hope this helps, and congratulations, I’m happy for you guys :)) all the best

I think they will be definitely be upset, but I too would rather want a wedding with as little family there as possible, so I would say go for it. It’s not that I don’t want my family at a wedding, but who do you end up inviting? There are certain people I would want at the wedding and others that I would not want, and if you only invite some then the others are angry because you didn’t invite them.

Perhaps it would be better to at least tell them beforehand that you are getting married and also tell them your reasons for wanting to get married alone (if the reason doesn’t insult them right to their faces). Perhaps you can also do a post wedding and honeymoon thing with the whole family. My cousin had the idea of getting married with only their parents there, they would record the whole thing and then do something big with the whole family at a later stage and only show the video of the actual wedding. Therefore the family still get a wedding and you still get to be married without them being there.

Of course they will be mad, but remember this is your special day and you can celebrate it however you wish. Yours and Chris’ parents will probably be upset as it is a special day for parents to watch their little girl/boy walking down the aisle. But aside from them, not many other people will actually be upset that they missed this occasion- they will be upset that THEY were not there with the free food and champagne. I think it’s really lovely that you and Chris want to get married without the drama and a wishful fairy-tale wedding, that, to me, really shows true love. It’s quite sad when the bride cares more about the label of her dress than her husband-to-be. One question though- aren’t you quite pregnant right now? Why not wait a little while longer so that you have had your baby?

Renee - yes, im 29 weeks along right now. We’ve been talking about getting married for years now, but something has always come up and we kept having to put it on the side burner. We bought our rings last weekend and actually have some spare cash at the moment (which we usually dont and definatly wont once the new baby arrives) to pay the justice of the peace. That, and im not prepared to deal with the looks the nurses give when the find out you have two different last names while delivering your baby.

The nurses can look all they want, you know that you’re a wonderful and supportive family (from what I gather on here) and that’s what matters :)

Once you decide to explain that you want to make it private, make sure they understand that it’s your special day, not theirs. Remember marriage is when a couple unite the two families. Normally this day makes both families get better acquainted with each other. Most parents want to see the day their children get married, they will love to see you in that white dress, but they will get over with it in time. I am sure they will understand, I believe every wedding should be unique.

They may be upset, but you have good reasons for doing it your way. You are not doing it to leave them out. Maybe you could do something when you tell them to make them feel part of it, like have a nice photo taken to give them, or have a small low-key celebration with them.

I know my parents informed me very calmly that if i did anything like that then they would never speak to me again. Ever. Mybe invite just the parents. It will still feel small and intimate but they will feel included. If they want to invite more people just explain to them that this is what you want and how important it is to you. Not just that but if your son is being a lil bit fussy or whatever they can keep an eye on him. Hope that helps and congrats!!!!

This is just my opinion, I don’t know if this is within your budget or if it is possible, or whatever. But, I agree you should be able to get married on your own if you want that. However, I think you are also denying them the chance to celebrate and maybe if you had like a dinner with both sets of family, sort of like a reception, with the traditional things like a toast and pictures, etc. That way they are still included, just not in the actual marriage ceremony. It’s just a suggestion though.

While it’s your day, and you can choose whether you want them there or not, the least you can do is tell them that you’ll be getting married beforehand. Really, it seems as if you’ve practically been married for years, all it takes now are the formalities. Your families have been with you for important events before, I’m sure, and they can stand to miss this. Think of it as a formality when you talk to them, but it would be better to just let them know before you go ahead with it, so it doesn’t seem like they’re an afterthought.